Page 8 of Escalating Alpha

“It’s always going to be an improvement, always going to be some skill set you don’t have that you have to learn. You do it all of the time in your professional life, and that’s why you’ve excelled. You learn new weapons, new ways to keep people safe—newlanguages. All to reach that goal to protect people the best you can and be the best boss.”

“I accept that and completely understand it for my professional life and even pushing someone to start dating whenthey’re a homebody or to get back out there. But my dreamisto have a comfortable,calmpersonal life without so much upheaval and drama all of the time,” I argued.

“And that’s a great goal, but is that what you’re having right now?” he asked quietly.

No. No, it wasn’t. Not even remotely.

He wasn’t going to make me say it, nodding that he understood I knew that. “So it takes work to get there, and you don’t want complete calm and boring. Even a goodhappyrelationship takes work. I’m not a marriage counselor and I know that. I know I need to take my own damn advice and get back out there. I’m trying to. It’shard. No one said living was easy.”

I accepted that too and nodded as I tucked into my breakfast. “But you clearly have a plan or idea if you’re bringing us together. You have some tool you want us to start using.”

“Yes, exactly that. I’m not a marriage counselor, but I’ve had lots of them come to me when their normal toolbox runs out. That’s—this isn’t normal. I’m not judging it, but what you have isn’t normal down to the basics that you run towards gunfire when others run away.” He was less than thrilled when I looked at Phobie, but he didn’t say anything at least.

“I would agree with him,” she said after a moment. “I mean, of course on the basics, but he is someone you would turn to if the normal steps or process hasn’t been working and it hasn’t been for you guys. We all keep blaming it on how crazy everything is around you, but I heard Hagan recently say it’s time to accept it’s always going to be that way.

“You’vesaid that and just it’s time to figure out how the fuck to fix it. That’s why you called in Mauro or asked Eva who to call in really.” She let out a slow breath. “The problem is that everyone here has to actually agree to really do it, or it willbreak the tool that could possibly help you and Brian or you and others, and then that’s one less option that they’ve ruined.”

I was shocked when everyone looked at Dain with accusation.

Even Axel who had a bit of a crush on him.

“I have had my humble pie to hear you all think I’m more of a problem and an asshat than Carter, so I will do my best and learn—I thought I had left my pride behind a long time ago. Apparently not,” Dain said evenly, but I felt his upset in our bond.

Okay then?

What did I say to him? Or no—they had said something to him that night too?

Everything made my brain hurt some days. Seriously.

John waited until everyone agreed they were willing to listen and at least try it. “If anyone in this group comes to you and says, ‘I need to have a vulnerable conversation,’ that means everything stops. Phones down. Files away—whatever it is. You completely focus on that person and only listen. No arguing. No fighting. No response other than thanking them for sharing.”

“And then what?” Reagan hedged. “There has to be some sort of resolution later; otherwise, it’s just like…”

John nodded. “Dumping a problem or situation on someone. Yes, you’re not wrong.” He seemed comfortable focusing more on Reagan. “But when you’re upset or there’s a problem, you’re so busy thinking of what to say or dealing with your own hurt feelings, you’re not listening to what the other person just said. You will jump to—”

“Talking to the wrong person on this one,” Noah chuckled, the others smiling as well. “Reagan moves at the pace of a glacier and isn’t one to be rash. He is the result of your workshop here. He always takes the time to process what’s been said before coming up with a response.”

John accepted that and looked back at me.

But then he didn’t seem to know what to say.

Eva clearly did as she elbowed me so hard that I almost fell out of my seat. I shot her a nasty glance but then sighed.

“I would like to have a vulnerable conversation,” I mumbled, waiting until John waved me on. “I hate everyone waiting for me to get home or at my apartment with shit. Fine, people have stopped ambushing me in my apartment, like ganging up at me, but—I never get that five minutes in the car to decompress like people talk about.

“I don’t drive myself home and just breathe for five minutes or scroll Instagram to reset my brain from work. I have guards and we go up. But someone is always fucking waiting in the parking garage or in the lobby—by the elevators or at my door. It makes going home so fucking hard for me, and I just—I can’t keep dreading going home.”

John held up a finger to me and looked at the others. “What do you all feel? What do you want to say to Sera? Not on that topic, but that she shared that with you?”

“Thank you for letting me know,” Dain said quietly. “I didn’t know that.”

Noah snorted. “Because you don’t fucking listen.”

“Not helpful,” John chastised.

“And maybe not fair,” Axel muttered. “I do and…” He glanced at me. “I’m sorry. I’m one of the worst, and I misunderstood what you said. I thought you—you like to get shit out of the way and done with. I thought you liked to just get it over with and then have your night. I prefer that over it popping up later and then—”

“Okay, too far,” John chuckled. “The explanation normally comes later.” He waved the rest of them quiet which was amusing. “Normally, it’s—thank you for sharing or I’m sorry you’ve been carrying that. I’m glad I know what you’ve beengoing through. Something that acknowledges she took energy and time—herheartto reach out to you and give you her feelings.”

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