Page 7 of Escalating Alpha

John gestured around the table. “This is the result of avoiding those difficult conversations. Several of you feel like you are about to fall over the cliff or cannot handle the load anymore—are about to break.”

“That’s not fair, and she kills herself not to run and to have those conversations and has been working for so long on being able to communicate about what she needs,” Noah cut in. “But then people don’t fuckinglistento her and so what’s the point? Bang her head against the wall until she fucking bleeds and—”

“Okay, you, I am scared of, and you already touched me once,” John cut in, looking overwhelmed.

I was too shocked at how Noah was reacting to even think of that or like what to do. Noah saw that and did a double take, trying to get under control. “What’s going on?”

He sat back in his chair. “I can’t watch them break you again, Sera. I keep quiet and I’ve left things be and—each time it’s like I watch a piece of you break off and die. I don’t know what to do, and we’re now both in roles we didn’t want and overloaded and everyone just…” He sniffled loudly and wiped under his eyes. “Sometimes I just want to grab you and run.”

I blinked back tears. “Yeah, me too.” I ignored when everyone else went tense. All of them there would be super screwed if we did that. “I have faith in Mauro though. I think it’s the right move.”

He bobbed his head. “I do too, but I think there needs to be some other changes.” His glance darted to Dain and Brian which really shocked me.

“Okay, seriously, what happened at that guys night?” I asked, glancing between all of them.

“I want to out that you said something after it was over when you were half asleep and that sent Brian into a panic,” John cut in before anyone could say anything.

And Brian didn’t want to tell me. That was clear… But neither did Dain.

While everyone else there was confused.

I thought back to that night. “I fell asleep on the couch but woke undressed in bed.”

“I got you to bed,” Brian confirmed.

“Can you please tell me and not some stranger?” I whispered.

“You said you didn’t get the flutters for me anymore,” he rasped, staring off and not looking at anyone. “And that you thought you were falling out of love with me but maybe it was for the best because that way we could just be friends if we were going to be tied together forever. That you’re not my babe, but my fool, and you don’t want to marry me.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I did this. I did this to us.”

“I’m still sorry I just made you admit that in a group.”

He chuckled darkly. “It should help them since they think I’m perfect or something and can never do wrong, but you don’t want to marry me anymore, and I’ve screwed up so bad that even your wolf isn’t attracted to me.”

“No, she’s attracted to you,” I argued. “It just… She doesn’t feel it’s worth the pain we feel by touching the stove especially when I don’t ever really punish you as she wants.”

He half covered his face and tried to keep it together. Just because I apparently wanted to fuck myself even harder, I looked at Dain.

“Are you going to tell me what I said to you?”

“I would prefer not to in this setting,” he replied.

I snorted. “Yeah, so you’re not. Shocker.” Everyone looked at me like they were surprised at what I’d said… And so was I. I actually picked up my drink and looked in it before glancing at Eva. “Did you slip that potion stuff in here?”

“No, but my suggestion was to have it and then have it out with them truly. I did that for your mother once.” Eva smiled like it was a fond memory. “She bit me for months when she shifted, but it was worth it because two really pulled their heads out of their asses and asked for help like your Hagan.”

“Or—orwe could do something a bit less volatile and more emotionally healthy,” John suggested, focused back on me. “I get it. You don’t—”

“This is why I always feel in trouble at these meetings and ganged up on,” I cut in. “Why are you talking directly to me—atme like I’m the problem?”

“You’re not the problem, Sera. You’re the boss,” he answered simply gesturing around the table. “More than that, you’re the other part of the equation for your relationship with Brian. Normally, I would have just asked you and Phobie to come to a session and thrown this at you—asked you to try something new. It’s not just the two of you.”

I let out a long breath and nodded. “Fine, but the foreplay is getting tedious so just spit it out.”

He looked taken aback but then shook it off. “Comfort is a silent killer. Every big decision you make comes down to comfort—the life you want versus the comfort you have. So at some point, we need to understand that we’re going to live in a state of discomfort to get what we want. That’s the only way we can grow and get better.

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