Page 18 of Saul

I smiled at everyone, including Daddy, who was staring at me like he was gonna jump on me and my gut clenched in a very pleasant way. We ordered some food and Ricky had the dinosaurs, but I had the pasta shapes. Ricky leaned forward with a question on his lips, but before he could ask anything, Daniel marched into the room.

“Good news. The Coast Guard has just called me. They’ve caught the gang and made multiple arrests. The threat is officially over.”

Ricky whooped and launched himself into Chris’s arms. Two servers came in with alcoholic and non-alcoholic champagne and I giggled. But I kept my gaze on Daddy. I honestly didn’t know whether or not to believe him when he hinted at a future because I’d been burned too many times. But the look in his eyes made all sorts of promises, and for this weekend I decided to trust them.

Chapter ten

Calvin

It was going to be a party, apparently. The staff that were still there seemed to be a close-knit group. Matt and Ryder, both boat operators, returned. Josh and Daniel. The blue-haired lady, Angie, and her wife Suzie. May-belle or Nana May. Noah who had checked me over after I went in the pool, and his husband Charlie who shared he had a touch sensitivity so please don’t be offended if he didn’t shake hands. I loved talking to Charlie who was an art therapist and I shared some of my experiences at daycare. Charlie shared that another couple whowere permanent residents were off the island meeting a little boy they were hoping to adopt soon.

“And it’s about our turn,” Charlie whispered.

“Your turn?” I returned in a low voice.

He nodded and twisted his hands. “I’m just terrified with my touch issues I’ll be a crap dad.” I saw Noah’s head raise like a heat-seeking missile, but I didn’t think Charlie had noticed.

I thought about that. Thought about what I’d gone through. “You know, the thing is, that you even thought about it is what makes you different.”

Charlie sent me a suspicious look, and I huffed. “People think too much about havingstuff. I don’t know about regular kids but believe me when I say foster-kids don’t. They wanna know they’re safe. They wanna know you’re not gonna hit them. That they have enough food. They don’t give a crap about how you make that happen so long as you do. And don’t get me wrong,” I added. “They won’t believe you for a long time. They’ll expect you to be the same as everybody else.”

Charlie nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Then I think you know more than you realize,” I said.

By this time Noah was sitting close to Charlie, and I knew deep in my gut that whatever child or children they got, they would be loved. And that was really the main thing. “You know teenagers are the hardest group to get adopted?” I asked. Charlie looked at me. “Everyone wants little kids or babies. Maybe with whatever you have going on, an adolescent or an older teen would be better?”

I watched as Noah snaked his arm around Charlie and Charlie’s face brightened.

Yeah.

Chris and Ricky completely abandoned the idea of a served dinner for that evening and opted to ask all the staff and everyone that worked there to eat with them. It was still adressed-up event but this way the dishes were laid out for guests to help themselves so Joshua and his team could sit down when all the food was out.

We all split up to get ready, and an hour later I was standing looking at myself dispassionately in the bedroom mirror because for once I wasn’t excited about mine and Ricky’s matching outfits.

“What’s wrong?” Daddy came up behind me and kissed my bare shoulder and I shivered. “Calvin? If tonight’s going to be too much after—”

“No,” but my voice cracked, and I turned and nearly tried to bury myself in him. Saul simply guided me to the bed, sat and lifted me into his lap. I clung on. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I mumbled into his chest. We’d had a fabulous afternoon, but once we started getting ready, my skin got all kinds of itchy.”

Saul held me tightly, which I adored. “You’re shaking. Baby, is it this afternoon?”

“It’s everything,” I whispered. But I had to get a hold of myself. Ricky was my best friend. He’d nearly had the weekend ruined as it was.

“You know Ricky would understand—” But I shook my head.

“I can’t. I just can’t. He…” I bit my lip, and then gulped a breath. “I have to be there for him tonight. I have to.”

He looked at the bed. “Is it your outfit?”

I shook my head. “No, we chose it.” It had long pants, but I had a silver shirt with a purple set of men’s suspenders and a purple bow-tie, and Ricky had a purple shirt and silver accessories. We’d wanted to be smart but fun for the family dinner, but I didn’t know what to do now.

“Tell me how you’re feeling, baby.”

“I don’t know. Just weird. Like…” I twisted my hands, unable to explain. I sighed. “I’m good at my job.”

Daddy considered that. “I think you mean that normally you’re controlled and calm, and because everything today has been a nightmare, you’re acting out of character.”

I nodded, and he brushed a quick kiss on my cheek. “But don’t forget what you went through,” Daddy said, and reached over and passed Tiny to me to cuddle.

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