Page 124 of Sinning for Santa

Important.

Seen.

Blinking my eyes open again, the room doesn’t spin this time, and I take in the sight of the man studying me with so much concern.

He’ll hate me soon.

He’ll never look at me like this again.

“I left something out of my story before,” I whisper, watching him closely for any reaction.

So far, nothing.

“It was about the reason why I got sent to Dr Xavier.”

There’s a slight tug of his brows now, but that’s it. His dark gaze is still on mine, and he waits quietly for me to continue.

“The nightmares happened. And I kept telling my parents I wasn’t lying, but…”

“But?” he asks, his finger hooking under my chin to lift my gaze to his when I try to look at my fidgeting hands in my lap.

“They kept sending me back to Sunday school. And started sending Presley too. She hadn’t been before that because she was in the choir, and they rehearsed a lot and received most of her teachings in that group, but for some reason, on this particular day, my parents sent her to Sunday school with me.”

Nausea rolls my gut at the memory.

“Presley’s innocent eyes, although older than mine, really believed I was lying too, since that’s what my parents told her.” I remember feeling so alone then. “Brother Eric took a liking to her straight away, and when it came to thechecking of the privatespart of the day, he started with her.”

Even though my lower lip is trembling, and I’m not entirely sure I won’t puke at any moment, my glare into Devon’s eyes is fuelled by the same rage I felt that day.

“He fucking touched her?”

I nod. “I still remember her face when he called her to the centre where he kneeled. She thought she was special. That she was about to receive praise I guess, but the moment he told her to lift her dress,” I choke out, a sob lurching from my lips. “I’ll never forget the fear in her eyes when she shot me a look.”

“Fuck, Jax. You don’t have to tell me.”

“Yes. I do. You need to know so you can decide if you want me around you or the people in this town.”

The frown that creases his forehead is severe, and his tone is harsh.

“There’s nothing that will change this.” He points aggressively between us. “You need to understand that, love.”

Love.

I love it when he calls me that. I love it when he calls me little mouse, that term no longer making me feel meek, but adored. And I love it when he calls me Jax.

“Presley said no,” I say, swiping at my tears. “She told him firmly, no you’re not allowed to do that. And he ignored her. Simply lifted her dress anyway and laid his perverted hands on her.”

My lip curls as rage bubbles inside me, and that familiar unhinged feeling engulfs me.

“The scissors were so close, and before I knew it, they were in my hand, and when I blinked again I was standing over Brother Eric’s blood soaked body as he gasped for air.” I shake my head, trying to clear the memory, but it’s there now. So clear. So engulfing.

“A bloodied bubble kept expanding from his lips. In and out. In and out. I remember feeling happy. I stopped him. He couldn’t touch Presley again.”

“Come back to me.” Devon’s deep rasp has me blinking, the sight of Brother Eric’s dying body floating away like smoke in the wind, and in its place are those dark smouldering eyes that own my soul with one look.

“I’m back,” I whisper, offering him a small smile, even though I don’t particularly feel like smiling. “I got sent to Dr Xavier for killing Brother Eric, because of course, a ten year old can’t go to prison, and if I could be so violent, I must be crazy, right?”

“Wrong,” Devon snaps. “Everything the adults did in your life was wrong.”

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