Page 80 of Reckless

Erasing the space between us, he took my palm in his hands and opened it. He took the keychain, then moved over to his desk, grabbed his keys, and put them on it. Then he looked at me. I saw the pity in his eyes. He had figured it out. My presence in his room. My gift for him.

“Thank you,” he said to me with a gentle smile.

“You are welcome.” I said, ashamed that he knew how I felt. “I should go.” But I didn’t move. I felt like his gaze was pinning me to the spot.

“What parting gift could I give you, little Spencer?”

I wanted to tell him not to leave, but even at fourteen, I knew it would be a ridiculous request. So I didn’t say anything.

He approached me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Our bodies almost touched. I exhaled sharply.

“Breathe, Hannah.”

Then his lips touched mine. I felt my heartbeat in every vein inside my body. Thousands of butterflies were bumping into my body from the inside, trying to crack it open and get out. I lifted my head up instinctively, chasing his mouth, but he kept the kiss innocent. Sweet. And brief.

He took a step back. I knew what that kiss meant for him. Nothing. He didn’t feel anything for me. Except pity. It was a gesture. A friendly gesture, not a romantic one. It felt like he cut my heart in two.

Now I got why people always talked about their hearts. You could survive on shallow breaths. A heart in pieces was a different story.

“Your hair is like sunshine,” he took a lock of it, then slowly pulled his hand back to him, letting my hair fall off his fingertips. “You will find someone who can feel something for you, Hannah. I am not that guy.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Tyler

The present

Myphonefinallyrangaround five in the afternoon. I pretended I hadn’t waited for that to happen for the past two hours, and I managed to control myself enough and not pick up the second my screen lit up. I finished my pushups, then answered the call.

“Hey,” I feigned nonchalance.

“Hi,” she yawned. “Do you want to come over?”

I didn’t remember the last time I wanted something as much as I wanted to go over to her place.

I kept that thought to myself.

Not only because I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression something more than sex was happening between us, but also because I didn’t know how to voice out all those types of…feelings I currently had without making it more than just sex.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “You sound tired.”

“I am. But if you come over now, I will be asleep and you will be back at the bar by eight. It’s a win-win situation.”

“How do you know I am at the bar?”

“A hunch.”

Say no. You are fuck buddies. You saw her less than ten hours ago.

I had never seen a fuck buddy more than once every two or three days and I was deep in the criminal category, which I knew would be a deal-breaker for her. But I wanted her more than I ever wanted another woman. I craved the brightness that followed her everywhere she went.

What was one more deliberate mistake on my already abused conscience?

“I’ll come over.” I stood up and straightened my back. The right thing to do was to kill our arrangement, but I didn’t trust myself to follow through and break it off. “We have to talk about something,” I said just because I knew I had to do it and there was no way I was doing it over the phone either.

Twenty minutes later I stood in front of Hannah’s apartment. She opened it wearing shorts and a tank top that resembled pajamas.

“That was fast.” She sounded surprised.

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