Page 81 of Reckless

“Is it eight already?” I teased her about the clothes she was wearing.

She laughed, but it wasn’t her usual cheery energetic laughter. The one that made me want to turn myself into her own personal clown, just so that I never stop hearing that sound.

“Can I come in?” I asked and she moved away from the door, inviting me in. I walked into her living room and took a quick look around. “You haven’t changed a lot.”

Hannah snorted. “As if you saw anything the last time you were here.”

I turned to face her. “Oh, I saw plenty.”

“When?” She crossed her arms over her chest, which only drew my attention to how her breasts looked in that tank top. Delicious by the way. “I don’t remember giving you a tour. We went straight to my bedroom.”

I cocked my head sideways and smiled at her. “Come on, little Spencer. I know you are tired, but it’s not that hard.” She squinted, then her brows shot up when she figured it out.

“You snooped around before you left?”

“I wouldn’t call it snooping. I just looked around.”

“Why?”

“I have no idea, if I have to be honest.”

“I always imagined you just woke up and ran out.”

I shook my head. We stared at each other, a safe few steps’ distance between us. I was vaguely aware this conversation wasn’t leading to the end of our arrangement. And instead of thinking how to end it and leave, I found myself wanting to stay here. In that colorful bubble she lived in.

She strolled over to me, a gentle smile curving her lips.

“It’s different this time. I know you will leave. I’m not in love with you anymore.”

“In love with me?” I asked with a snort. She cocked her head sideways and examined my face.

“Yes. I was in love with you. For an embarrassingly long time.”

I heard the words she said, but I couldn’t wrap my head around the notion behind them.

“Why the hell would you be in love with me?” The question came out with an accusatory tone, but Hannah just smiled at me.

“Are you offended?” She asked and I shot her a warning look. “Remember the keychain? When I gave it to you, I told you I had bought it. That was a lie. I made it. I had a crush on you since I was twelve. The moment I realized you were moving, I just…I wanted to give you something to remember me by. I was terrified you would forget about my existence.”

“Were you still in love with me when you took it back that summer we met in Seattle?” I asked trying to sound unaffected.

“Yes.” Her confirmation was loud and clear, no trace of regret or embarrassment.

“And that night five years ago? On my birthday?”

“Yes. But that was the turning point actually. You don’t have to worry about me developing feelings. That’s what’s bothering you, right?”

I closed my eyes and rubbed a hand over the side of my face. She thought I was scared she would develop feelings. I was more scared of the fact I felt unable to just break it off and leave.

She made the stupid keychain.

How could I have been so blind? I knew she liked me, but I always thought it was just an infatuation. Being in love? That never even crossed my mind.

“If I knew you were in love with me, I would have never slept with you five years ago.” The need to make that clear burned inside me. I didn’t want her thinking I deliberately hurt her like that.

“I know. Another thing I know is that I want a real relationship, and I don’t expect to get one from you. This is a temporary distraction.”

She slid her hands under my tee and ran them over my stomach. Her touch was light and warm and gentle. Just like her.

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