Page 49 of Beauty and the Beard

Last night was a turning point. Sasha gave me his body and I know it wasn’t a light decision. He says he trusts me, but I feel the fear he holds just a footstep away.

I understand because I’ve been in that same place since Connor died. Now that I’ve let that go and allowed myself to feel for someone, the best I can do is brace for Sasha’s departure. I can’t make him stay, even if there is a way to work it out.

“Hey.”

Sasha stands before me in one of my too-big t-shirts. His hair is bed messed, and he’s adorably sleepy.

“It’s still early. You can sleep more.”

“How come you’re up so early?”

He sits next to me on the small loveseat and curls up with his head on my shoulder. I hug him close with my free arm.

“I’m an early bird, and I wanted time to think before I made the pancakes you asked for.”

“What are you thinking about?”

His voice is soft as his finger traces the pattern on my sleep pants.

I don’t answer right away because he likely has an idea. Sasha isn’t stupid. Quite the opposite, and I won’t insult him by brushing it off and not being honest.

“You, mostly. How much I like having you here and when I’ll get to see you again.”

His breath hitches, and he squeezes my leg.

He remains quiet and I won’t force a conversation he doesn’t want to have. Especially if it’s something I don’t want to hear.

“Why don’t you go back to bed? I’ll make you the pancakes you love with extra syrup.”

My heart twists when he rises and places a kiss on my cheek.

“Maybe I should. It was a late night, after all.” He gives me a small smile and shuffles back to the bedroom. Every other step has the t-shirt bouncing and I catch a glimpse of his ass. While it’s a welcome sight and one I could get used to, I wish he would have stayed with me on the loveseat. We could watch the birth of a new day and start it with a kiss.

God, when did I get so damn emotional?

Draining my coffee, I set about mixing the homemade pancake recipe Millie gave to me years ago. Light and fluffy pancakes for the man who deserves the world on a platter will be ready before long. Before I cook the batter, I pull out some bananas and strawberries and chop them up, putting them into small bowls. He’ll probably bypass them and concentrate on the syrup, but I want him to have a choice.

Before long, the kitchen fills with the aroma of cooked pancakes and warm maple syrup. Even my mouth waters. Plating the cakes for him, I place it all on a cookie sheet to carry to the bedroom with the fruit and syrup.

But when I open the door, he’s not in bed.

“Sasha?”

The bathroom is empty, which means there’s only one other place he could be unless he crawled under the bed to hide. I know he has a lot on his mind, but I don’t think he’d avoid me that much.

Cracking open the door to my tiny balcony, I go from heart broke to heart full.

“You found my secret hideaway.”

Still in my shirt, he’s laying in my free-standing hammock, gazing up at the fading morning stars. With one hand behind his head, the t-shirt rides up and his cock is on full display. I could get used to this view. He shifts his head at the sound of my voice.

“It’s gorgeous out here.”

Privacy glass surrounds my patio and hammock. Even if people were out and about, you can’t see anyone up here unless you fly a drone. Sasha either knows this or doesn’t care about his provocative pose. He makes a welcome addition to my patio. Some nights I drop netting over myself while I gently sway and listen to the calls of loons while watching for shooting stars. The only thing that would make that better is having him like this in the hammock with me on those nights.

“I do some of my best relaxing out here.”

“I bet. There’s just something about hammocks, isn’t there?”

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