Page 28 of Beauty and the Beard

After popping my memory card in the slot and picking out far too many favourites, I quickly crop a few and send them to print. While the machine spits out the photos, I browse the cards and find one to send to Roman and, after a slight hesitation, I choose one for Leaf.

I know he said he’d be busy this week, but it wouldn’t hurt to remind him I’m here.

At least, I think so. I know I wasn’t coming here to get involved with someone, but if we have a connection, why shouldn’t I nurture it?

With that thought in my head, I pay and leave the drugstore so I can get to the grocery store before I run out of time. I don’t want to keep Pete waiting, and I need snacks for the cabin.

Chapter 8

Leaf

I’ve forgotten how easy it is to get swept up into the activities at the lodge once it’s booked full. Between checking people in, overseeing the kitchen, and making sure all the guests have the guides they requested, I’m exhausted.

I don’thaveto check on Millie in the kitchen—she’s more than capable—but it makes me feel useful. I don’t really have to do any of it. I can assign most of these things to someone else. But it kept me busy after Connor died, and I’ve just never changed my ways.

It’s not until midweek I remember the envelope on my kitchen table. Sasha left it with Millie after he helped cook breakfast one morning. I wanted to stay and watch him laugh. His eyes twinkled with delight as he and Millie chattered like old friends. He didn’t know a lick about cooking, but he paid attention and did his best.

And it wasn’t lost on me the way my heart squeezed while I watched him with my mother figure. The pull of wanting a new life was strong.

Carefully opening the flap of the envelope, I pull out the card inside and catch the photo that tumbles out. It’s the one I took of Sasha on the boat with his first fish and his smile disarms me now, just like it did then.

A beautiful man out of his normal element, yet still thriving. Wearing my old thrift store shirt over his designer clothes and holding a wiggly fish with his soft, manicured hands.

The card is simple. A photo of a nightscape and star-filled sky is on the front. Inside is a handwritten note.

Leaf,

I’ve not been here long and you’ve already shown and taught me so much. I can’t put into words how much catching this fish means to me, but know that it’s special. I’ll never forget this experience. Or you.

Sasha

“You aren’t easy to forget either, city boy.”

The clock reads half past ten at night. I know I need to be at the docks for a 6 A.M. fishing group, but I miss Sasha. It’s silly and weird, but it’s there.

“Connor, wherever you are, if you can hear me…” My eyes water and I blink furiously. “I love you. And I’m going to try to do this again. If not with Sasha, maybe the next one who gives me those same butterflies. Because if someone can make me feel the way you did, I want that again. Very much.”

Wiping at my eyes, I lay the photo of Sasha on the table. The part nobody warns you about when you lose your spouse is the guilt you feel for loving someone new. Not that I love Sasha, but he’s stoked the fire to love again.

And I’d be lucky to have it twice in my life. What Connor and I had was magic like nothing else. Since he’s been gone, I’ve been hollow. Going through the motions and staying alone when I can. Millie, Pete, and even my brother, Perry, have all assuredme it’s normal. But they’ve also gently reminded me Connor would never want me to be like this.

They’re right.

Without giving myself time to overthink it, I exit my suite and head down the path to Cabin Three.

My heart pounds in my throat the closer I get, and I pause when I notice the light on inside. He’s still awake. Lightly, I climb the steps to his door and knock. My heart’s in my throat and sweaty palms stuffed deep in my pockets.

And there he is.

Damp and tussled hair, a rosy glow on his cheeks from maybe too much sun today and his lips part in surprise before turning up in a happy smile.

“Leaf. Hi. Do you want to come in?”

Nodding, I step inside. My whole body warms like coals on a fire once I step past him. Tiny sleep shorts and a crop top are his nighttime outfit and it’s the first time I’ve seen this much of his toned body.

“I hope it’s not too late to drop by.”

“No. I was just reading and thinking of opening more potato chips.” He pats his flat stomach with a chuckle. “I can eat all the junk food here and nobody cares. It’s been great. I just hope I still fit into my clothes after.”

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