Page 29 of Beauty and the Beard

He resumes his place on the couch, tucking his slender legs under him, and pats the space in invitation. Kicking off my shoes, I settle on the other end.

The book he’s reading sits between us and I reach for it. “May I? Is this what you’re reading?”

“It is. I hope to finish it tonight. It’s beautiful. The cover caught my eye, and the story is… hopefully romantic.”

The cover is a younger man with a wet white shirt plastered to his torso. Maybe caught in a rainstorm since the title isToo Like the Lightning. The man’s eyes are obscured, but his full lips areturned up in a smile. Maybe at the man he’s in love with? A quick browse at the book’s synopsis has a lump form in my throat.

He didn’t plan on making a friend. Suddenly the long summer seems far too short.

With a trembling hand, I place the book back on the cushion. This story sounds far too much like my reality with Sasha.

“What do you like about it?”

“The story?” He takes the book and flips through the pages. A small lift of his lip as he stops on the bookmarked page. “It’s full of hope. And finding yourself. And maybe reaching for something you think is impossible.” He licks his lips and meets my gaze. “Being brave.”

The silence rests between us as he flits his fingers across the cover.

“I wanted to thank you for the card and the picture. It turned out nice. I would’ve come sooner but…” Swallowing hard, I laugh. It’s dry and tinged with embarrassment. “I, ah, forgot to open it when Millie gave it to me. I’ve just been so busy–”

He places his hand on my thigh. “It’s okay. I get it. You’re here now and I’m glad you liked it. I guess that was me being brave. I wasn’t sure what you’d think of it.”

Him being brave? Is he reaching for what he thinks is impossible? Does he think I’m out of his league or is he also thinking of how little time we have left to be together?

“I’ve not stopped thinking about you since that night.” My voice is thick and heavy as I confess to him he’s been on my mind.

Turning to face him, I’m again struck by his youthful beauty. So simple and fresh. Maybe unsullied by life on the outside, though he did mention he’d suffered losses, too. He must hide his scars behind his smiles better than most.

His throat bobs with a swallow and his lips part with a small huff.

“Leaf?” Sasha places the book on the side table. His hand trembles and he shimmies closer to me. “You’reallI’ve been thinking about.”

It’s right there; his upturned face and little nose. Those parted pink lips waiting for mine. A longing in his eyes that’s not just lust. That’s there, but there’s something else that speaks to my broken heart.

Sliding my palm across his cheek, I gather my own courage.

“I’d like to be brave with you. Even if it’s only a short time, Sasha. I don’t know what the future brings or if we go beyond tonight, but… there’s something about you I can’t ignore.”

“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.” His hand slides up my chest. “We can be brave together. Sometimes the first step leads to great things.”

We’ve drifted closer, our noses brush, and his short breaths warm me further on the hot summer night. And for the first time in seven years, I kiss someone.

Pressing my lips to his, my body trembles with the enormity of this step. He tastes like salt and Diet Coke and his lips are softer than a goose’s down. Licking across his lips, his tongue meets mine, eager and gentle. I expected a wildcat of a response from him. Someone worldly and sex-filled who takes charge. But his body vibrates just like mine, a nervous thrum, and I pull him onto my lap.

His hands grip my shoulders and he gasps when my hands slide under his tiny top.

Nuzzling his neck, I inhale his scent. Jasmine maybe, it’s sweet and light and perfect for him. His body sags against me as my long-slumbering libido wakes. I want him more than my next breath.

He grinds into my lap, hard and needy, as his hands drift to the buttons on my shirt.

Our kisses grow, overflowing with a passion that drowns out any of the doubt remaining that I should do this. I remove his speck of a shirt with ease and he sits on my lap, panting with lips swollen and slicked with our saliva.

“Sasha…”

My voice cracks and I’m not sure what I want to say. There’re so many emotions swirling inside me, so many thoughts and my tongue only wants to taste him.

He shakes his head and slides my shirt off my shoulders. “Don’t. Please. Can we just pretend the summer will never end and we’re the only two people in the world?”

A flash of sadness crosses his face. My heart yearns to take it away. To wipe away anything that doesn’t make him smile.

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