Page 50 of Desperation

“Princess,” Mark said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slow smirk. “Turn around.” I did, and when I saw her standing there in a flowy summer dress with little flowers, her feet clad in sandals, my breath caught and my pulse raced. She was exquisite. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail, soft blond waves swaying with her every movement. Her skin glowed, gone were the dark half-moons beneath her eyes. Color bloomed on her cheeks, and her plump lips curved into a timid smile. But there was something missing, something I’d become accustomed to seeing that wasn’t there anymore.

That haunted look she’d worn when I’d first met her, and she’d carried throughout the time I’d known her, was gone. The ghosts of her past and the looming threat of Drake Wilder were gone. I realized then that she’d made the right decision all those months ago. She’d found herself, something she may not have been able to do with me by her side.

I stood frozen, watching as she strode toward us hesitantly. She wasn’t the same frightened girl who’d rear ended me on a clandestine Chinese food run, but she was unsure with her approach. We were merely acquaintances now, a reality that caused a dull ache to settle in my chest. I fought the urge to rub my hand over my breastbone to soothe the pain.

“Hi, Devon,” she greeted with a shy grin. “Mark.” Her gaze moved to my boss, and her eyes softened. He’d done as much to rescue her that cold winter night as I had.

“Hannah,” Mark replied and pulled her in for a hug. I envied him in that moment. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close, but I didn’t dare make a move. “What brings you here?”

“I just came to bring you guys these.” She held up two sky blue envelopes, one addressed to me and the other addressed to Mark and Charlie. “Jameson is turning one soon, so we’re having a birthday party in a couple weeks. We’d love for you guys to come. Bring the kids.” The last part was directed at Mark, but I was stuck on what she’d said just before that.

We’d love for you guys to come.

Who was “we”? Had she moved on? Was I merely a part of her past now? I wanted to ask all that and more, but I didn’t want to make it weird. If I got too pushy, she may change her mind about giving me that invitation.

“Thank you,” I said instead and took the envelope from her. “What day is the party?” I asked as she handed Mark his invitation. She told me the date, and my face fell. “I’m sorry. I’ve gotta work that day. I won’t be able to make it.”

“Oh.” The sadness returned to her eyes, and I wanted to kick myself for causing it.

“I really appreciate the invitation, though.”

“Of course,” she offered with a nod. After a brief but awkward silence, she finally said, “Well, it was good seeing you both. I need to get going.” Mark bid her goodbye, but I couldn’t seem to find my voice. I didn’t want to see her go again. After she’d cleared the front door, I took off after her.

“Hannah,” I called before she could open the door to her car and slip away. “Wait.” She paused next to the vehicle and turned to face me. The wind caught her hair, whipping it around her face. It was now or never. I had to try. “Hey, I, uh, just gotta finish up a few things here, then I’m done for the day. Would you like to grab a coffee with me?”

“I can’t.” I felt her refusal in my gut, like the time Enzo punched me in the solar plexus while sparring one day. “I have to be at work soon. I was just stopping by on my way.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe some other time.”

“Sure. That’d be nice.”

She got in her car and drove away. Once she was gone, I realized I hadn’t gotten her new number, and I doubted that coffee would ever happen.

* * *

The evening before Jameson’s party, Mark stopped by my house after leaving the office. When I couldn’t find an apartment that suited my needs, I considered buying. Three months ago, I found this fixer upper and put a bid in on it immediately. I needed something to focus on to keep my mind off Hannah, so I dove headfirst into renovating the property. Every moment not spent at work, taking care of my mom, or sleeping, I dedicated to this house. Almost every room had been completed. I was holding out on the guest bathroom and bedroom, trying to make the whole process last a little longer. I wasn’t sure what I’d do with myself once the reno was complete.

I stepped aside and welcomed Mark into my home. He glanced around, letting out a low, appreciative whistle.

“Nice. You’ve really done a lot with this place.”

“Thanks, man. I’ve worked my ass off on this house.”

“I think she’d love it.”

“Who would love it?” If he was talking about my mom, she’d already been here to see it.

“Hannah.” That dull ache slammed into me at the sound of her name, and my hackles rose. Why was he bringing her up?

“Maybe.” I shrugged, trying to conceal my unease. “I doubt I’ll ever find out.”

“I wouldn’t give up on her just yet.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “I think I’ve already held on a little too long. She’s moved on.” I made a beeline for the kitchen and pulled the fridge open. Mark's footsteps followed close behind me. “Want a drink?” My mood had suddenly soured, and I was ready to find a new distraction. Maybe I’d head into town, hit the club scene, and find someone who could make me forget about Hannah for a little while. It was a thought I’d had multiple times over the last several months but could never seem to follow through on. The possibility of reuniting with Hannah one day kept me planted firmly in place. After being with her, nobody could compare anyway.

“Nah, I’m good.” Mark watched me as I twisted the lid off my bottle of water and took a swig, but I refused to meet his eye. I couldn’t let him see the heartbreak and anguish I still felt every day. It had multiplied since seeing Hannah again two weeks ago. The last time I saw her had been the day she stood on Sandra’s front porch and watched me drive away. I’d taken her and Jameson there after our conversation at Drake’s house. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but mercifully a short drive. I held it together long enough to help her carry all her belongings inside and up to her bedroom, but my heavy bag paid the price that night.

“I think you should make an appearance at the party tomorrow. I know Hannah would be happy to see you.”

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