Page 100 of Growing Into Love

“Cass!” Autumn cries, leaping to her feet. “What’s happened?”

“Theresa showed up at Jaz’s just now,” I say.

“Oh no,” Autumn says. “Was she trying to get back together with him?”

“She’s pregnant with his baby,” I croak.

“What?” Autumn yelps.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Gran says.

“Come here.” Autumn ushers me over to sit beside her at the kitchen table. She wraps her arm around me. “Now. Start at the beginning.”

I tell them what happened at Jaz’s house. When I’m finished, Gran pours us all tea and sits down on my other side.

“Oh dear,” she says. “What an unexpected adventure.”

“Adventure?” I cry. “Disaster, more like.”

“Now, now,” Gran says. “I’m no great fan of Theresa’s, but she didn’t mean for this to happen any more than Jaz did.”

“But…” I hiccup and another tear slides down my cheek. “We only just started dating. This is so new. I’ve wanted him for so long, Gran. And now it’s like, what if I don’t fit in Jaz’s future anymore? What if he doesn’t have space for me in his life?”

“You talk to him, love,” Gran says. “That’s how couples sort out their problems.”

“What you need to figure out,” Autumn says, “is ifyouhave space for both him and a baby inyourlife.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “I wasn’t prepared for this.”

“How could you be?” Gran says. “No one could have seen this coming. You’re being tested rather earlier than anyone would expect but I know you can get through this, Cass. You’re so strong, so capable. Autumn is right—it’s up to you to decide if you have space for this or not.”

“How?” I say helplessly.

“I don’t know, dear. Look inside and see what feels right.”

Silence falls. I lean against Autumn’s shoulder, my eyes itching, my stomach in knots. I love Jaz. I know that deep in my bones, in everything that makes meme. And this baby is part him.

But my sanctuary is only just about to get started. All the dreams I’ve had for years were finally about to come true. Theresa and a surprise baby did not factor into any of my plans. Trying to reframe what my life will look like is hard.

And will Jaz even want me anymore? He’ll probably need to give all his attention to Theresa and the baby. There’s won’t be a place for me.

There’s a knock on the back door. Autumn goes to answer it.

“Hi,” I hear her say. “Come on in, Jaz.”

My heart skips as Jaz enters the kitchen. He looks at my face, then Gran’s, then Autumn’s.

“I told them,” I say with an exhausted shrug.

“I thought as much,” Jaz replies. “Can we have a chat?”

“We’ll leave you two be,” Gran says. She kisses my cheek then she and Autumn head outside.

Jaz sinks down beside me at the kitchen table. I don’t know what to say so we sit in silence for a moment. My pulse thrums.

“I don’t know how this happened,” Jaz says. “We used protection. It seems…impossible.”

“Nothing is one hundred percent effective,” I say miserably.

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