Page 99 of Growing Into Love

“Huh?” I say.

Theresa shifts in her chair. “You know what my childhood was like.”

I do. Theresa rarely talks about it, but she confided a few things to me over the years we were together. The loneliness. The fear. The isolation. Her mum was not a good mother.

“I don’t know anything about raising a child in a healthy home,” she says. “But Cass—I mean, god, Oak Hill is like a dream. She gets it. I want as many eyes on this baby as possible, Jaz. I want all the help I can get. I don’t want to fuck this child up the way my mum fucked me up. I’m…” Her breath hitches. “I’m really scared, to be honest.”

“And you think Cass is going to help?” I say. I’m pleased Theresa is taking a positive approach to the news of my relationship, but I feel as if she’s jumping the gun a bit. “I don’t even know if Cass wants to be with me anymore.”

“I hope she’ll understand,” Theresa says. “No one intended this. It wasn’t like anyone cheated. Craig and I were broken up and you were single. It’s just…” She struggles for the right words.

“Really fucking weird?” I offer.

She gives me half a grin. “Yeah.”

I rest my elbows on the table and sink my head into my hands. Everything was so perfect. My life was finally coming together. This is a giant wrench in the works. It changes everything.

But then I think about the new life that’s beginning to grow inside Theresa. That’s my child. I’m going to be a dad.

“I need some time,” I say. “To talk to Cass. To process all this.”

“Of course,” Theresa says, standing.

She heads to the door and opens it. A light rain has started to fall, and she lifts the hood of her jacket. “I’m really happy you’ve found someone, Jaz.”

“Thanks,” I say dryly. It seems like a big fucking joke right now.

“Let me know when you’re ready to talk more,” she says.

“I will.”

She gets in her car and drives off. I step out into the rain, letting the gentle mist cover my face, dewdrops forming in my hair.

I’m going to be a father. I feel a prickle of excitement through all the confusion and shock. I imagine holding a little baby in my arms. Watching him or her grow, discover the world. This tiny person I don’t even know yet.

I realize I love them already.

But what about Cass? I know from the outside it seems like we’re moving quite quickly. But on the inside, it’s like we’ve always been together. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she’s the one for me.

But will she want to stay with me? Is she ready to take on the responsibilities of coparenting? Or will she rather find someone with a lot fewer strings attached?

I open my eyes, determination setting in.

There’s only one way to find out.

I get in my car and head to Oak Hill.

TWENTY-NINE

CASS

I storminto the farmhouse and find Autumn and Gran in the kitchen.

“My lord, Cassandra, you gave me a fright,” Gran says, as her chihuahua Mimi snarls at me from her dog bed by the stove.

“Are you okay?” Autumn asks.

I burst into tears.

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