Page 56 of The Drummer's Heart

“That was it. You were calling for me, yet I was right there. It’s sort of the way I feel every moment you look at me when you’re awake, Nicole. You try so hard not to feel anything, but I see it in your eyes. It’s all still here, isn’t it?” He wrapped his hand around my neck, the cold metal of his rings a contrast to the heat of his palm. “You’ll always be fucking mine. You can move on. But you will always belong to me.” He rubbed his thumb along the center of my neck. “Look at the effect I still have on you. It doesn’t matter whether I look at you or touch you like this. I see how you change instantly. You still want me.”

My breaths quickened.

He moved closer. “You can tell me it’s over. But is it really? Not as long as we’re both alive.”

His amazing scent overpowered me as his touch continued to set my body ablaze.

“Everything I want in this world is right fucking here in front of me.” Atticus lowered his hand to my back, placing his lips gently against my neck. I could feel his breath against my skin.

I wanted more, so badly. That scared me. If I went there, I wouldn’t be able to handle being apart from him again. I’d worked so hard to get to the place I was before our time here. I couldn’t say I wasoverhim, but I was learning to live without him. And if I couldn’t accept all aspects of his life, we couldn’t go backward. Time hadn’t just stood still these last three years.

My brain battled with my heart and body. All my heart wanted was to immerse itself in the love I could feel emanating from him. And my body wanted him inside of me.

His chest pressed against mine. I could feel his erection straining through his jeans. My legs grew weak, and I felt myself losing control. But the lust consuming me right now was no match for the fear.

I pushed away suddenly as my brain won out. “I think you should sleep on the floor tonight.”

CHAPTER 17

ATTICUS

The next morning, Nicole got up before I did, so I didn’t have a chance to make her coffee. I’d overslept because I hadn’t fallen asleep until around four AM after tossing and turning on the floor.

She stood at the counter buttering toast, and I came up behind her. She flinched as she became aware of me.

I spoke low into her ear. “I’m sorry I lost control last night. It won’t happen again.” But even as I said it, I found myself turned on as my chest grazed her back. I knew my promise was a lie.

She turned around to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry I made you sleep on the floor.”

“What did I tell you before about apologizing to me? You owe me nothing. Certainly no apologies for reacting to my bad behavior.” I shrugged. “Anyway, my sleeping on the floor was probably a good idea.”

I reached for a mug and poured myself some coffee. “I’ll be gone for an hour.”

She stopped mid-bite. “Where are you off to?”

“I have my therapy session at noon. I wasn’t expecting to oversleep.”

“Oh, that’s right.” She licked the corner of her mouth. “I guess you can always count on me for new material, right?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. She was definitely the star of my therapy sessions. I took a sip of my coffee and lowered my voice. “Later we should talk about when we’re gonna tell Mimi about Louise.”

She cringed. “We do have to tell her.”

I usually hated therapy, but I’d take a session with Dr. Jensen any day over having to tell Mimi that her caretaker had passed away. That wasn’t gonna be fun, and I dreaded it.

I downed my coffee and found my laptop before walking out to my car. After logging in to the chat portal, I waited for Dr. Jensen to appear on the screen.

She finally popped up and smiled. “Atticus. How have things been going in New Jersey?”

The first thing that came to mind was last night. “I fucked up.”

Dr. Jensen tilted her head. “What do you mean by that?”

“I crossed the line with Nicole.”

She drew in her brows. “What did you do?”

“I came on to her physically.”

---