Page 38 of Alliance

My heart is pounding, every nerve ending burning as I lean forward and press my lips to his.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t even know where we’ll end up in a week. And maybe it will be locked in a tomb at the Lafayette Cemetery.

But I think, for this moment, it’ll be worth it.

Chapter Seventeen

I’M COATED WITH WARMTH. BETWEENNaz’s arm wrapped around me and the blanket covering my body I feel hot, but I don’t want to move, don’t want to risk this moment coming to an end.

This is just sex. I have to remind myself of the fact every few seconds or I’ll forget. I’ll get too comfortable in this moment and I won’t be able to leave. And eventually I need to leave.

I didn’t mean for this to happen, for these feelings to catch up to me.

But being with Naz shifts my perspective. He makes me forget about the outside world and all of the obligations that wait for me. When I’m with him, I live inside the moment, gripping on to whatever surrounds me and forgetting that there’s a life outside of his apartment.

Blue light radiates from the TV and Naz strokes my hair with a soft touch. I wonder what he’s thinking. Does his mind shift to the time? Counting down the seconds until this all dissipates?

“You’re doing it again.” His voice is so soft when he says the words, his eyes still on the TV, his fingers still threaded through my hair.

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

A finger taps my head, and he draws a little circle in the spot. “You’re overthinking. I can practically feel it.”

He looks down at me, brushing his knuckles against my cheek.

“I…I can’t stop it,” I admit.

He leans forward, placing a gentle kiss to my forehead. I have to remind myself again,this isn’t love. This isn’t a relationship. There is no happily ever after or riding off into the sunset. At some point I have to walk out of here, back into the grasp of my monster.

This is just a slight reprieve.

“You’re trying to talk yourself into something,” he says. “I can see the gears turning, your mind is spinning, huh?”

I’m amazed that he can put the feelings in my head into words. How can he see that just from sitting here? How can he possibly tell that my mind is racing, speeding through possibilities and scenarios when I just want to breathe?

“I do the same thing,” he says, as if reading the question from my face.

“How do you stop it?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Sometimes it’s harder than others, sometimes I just sink into the feeling. But other times I just need a distraction, something to take over my focus.”

A distraction, I think, would be perfect. One more time? That’s okay, right? I’m already here, already in his arms. Just one more time.

“Can you distract me then?”

A smile tugs at his lips, he looks heavenly like that, I think. Even with the dark ink that marks his skin, the intricate patterns that climb his arms and reach for his neck, there’s something peaceful about Naz.

“Give me one sec.” He presses another kiss to my forehead, and lifts my head so he can get up from the couch. He’s digging through his nightstand for a moment before he comes back.

“Come on, angel.” He wiggles his fingers at me, gesturing for me to get up. Grabbing a sweatshirt from his dresser, he tosses the article of clothing at me along with a pair of basketball shorts. I’m drowning in his clothes, but it’s better than getting dressed in mine again.

Naz wears a pair of low hanging sweatpants and a white t-shirt that I can see his tattoos through. “Come on,” he says again, taking my hand and dragging me toward the door. He pulls me over to the elevator, taking us to the top floor where the doors open to the rooftop of his building.

“Wow,” I whisper. From his roof, you can see the whole neighborhood. Naz is a few blocks from the French Quarter, and I can see the lights from the bars from here, hear the faint sound of music. “This is beautiful.”

“I know.” He wraps his arms around my waist and presses his body against my back. “I love this view.”

I could stand like this forever, with his arms wrapped around me, staring at the city I love.

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