Page 49 of Just Bromantically Invested

I’m in too much pain to fully appreciate it though.

Instead of answering Gabe, I swig more whiskey. Whiskey is good. It’ll solve all of my problems. At least until morning, when I’ll have a billion more.

“Where’s Seven?” Christian asks. “Never mind, I’ll go fetch him.”

And within minutes, they’re both back.

Seven walks in and halts in his steps. “Dude, you’re in clothes. What the heck happened?”

And like that, with all my brothers here, with them knowing me way too well, with them following through forme even when I’d given up on that, tears spill onto my cheeks.

“It’s … Penn.”

A collective sigh passes around the room, and then I’m being hugged from all sides. I have no idea who is where, but they just grab whatever of me is within reach and squeeze the effing shit out of me. They make that connection between my head and my gut sing, and even with how terrible everything feels, they’re here. They’re where I need them to be. And maybe with them swamping me in their love, the world isn’t as horrible as it feels.

Seven’s big hands roughly dry my cheeks. “Start again. What’s wrong?”

The last thing I want is to relive it, but we’ve all been here for each other at our worst. If there are a group of people who won’t judge me, it’s them. My brothers are what unconditional love looks like.

“Penn has a girlfriend.”

“No.” Christian squeezes my knee. “I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head as well as I can with Xander’s fingers in my hair. “That’s not … I’m not crying over that. It hurts, but they told me a week ago.”

It’s like I can read the confusion in their minds through the looks they exchange. Maybe if I can get the words out, it will make me feel better.

“I had sex with Penn.”

It doesn’t. If anything, it makes me feel worse. Admitting it rams home the nasty, selfish thing we did and cheapens what should have been the greatest moment of my life. I want to live in the memory of his eyes, the way he begged for me, how his hips canted, seeking more.

It should be a moment I hold on to forever.

Then I think of his girlfriend, completely happy and unaware at home, while Penn fucked around on her. Adisgusting thought twists my stomach:Did that even mean anything to him?

Penn isn’t the type of straight man to use his gay friend for a quickie, but I also never thought he’d be the type to cheat either. The defeat makes me want to cry again.

“You had sex …” Rush repeats. “While he has a girlfriend?”

The hurt in his tone reminds me that out of everyone here, Rush is extra sensitive to that. His boyfriend of a year was using him to cheat on his fiancé, and while Rush is in an amazing relationship now, that part really got to him.

“It was … it wasn’t …” Fuck. I have no defense. Nothing. I bury my face in my hands. “They’ve only just started dating, and I … I forgot. I feel terrible.”

I can’t look at Rush, but from the sounds of things, he hasn’t gotten up and left yet. When I’m finally brave enough to look, he’s paled slightly, and his usual energy has dimmed. “Isn’t Penn straight?”

“I thought so.”

“How …” Seven shakes his head. “How?”

That’s the part I have no fucking clue about. Everything was normal, and then Penn got all tense, started drinking, and … “I can barely remember. We were there talking, and then his hands were on me, and … It’s what I’ve always wanted. My ultimate fantasy come to life. I’ve never felt as in love as I did in that moment, and I got so carried away. I didn’t think, we didn’t talk, we just … did.”

Xander presses a kiss to my shoulder, and I swallow thickly.

“I’ve fucked everything up.”

Gabe’s knees are bouncing up and down beside me. “Not necessarily. Yeah, it’s a mess, but you can get through this.”

“What about his girlfriend?”

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