Page 58 of Benji

I shook my head. “I never had any dreams about what I wanted to be or dream jobs, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said quietly. “Growing up, the only thing I wanted to do was leave home. To be free.”

His gaze lasered into mine.

“And now I am,” I said, trying to smile for him. “I’m free to be myself. That’s all I ever wanted.”

Nolan sagged with a sigh. “God, Benj, I’m sorry. Your family...”

This was dangerous territory.

“Weren’t nice people,” I said. I really needed to change the subject. “So no, there was no grand desire for any career. I just wanted a job of my own, my own money, to live my own life. And that’s what I’m doing. I told you I liked what I do, and I mean it.”

He slid his hand over mine and squeezed. “And I’d never change that. If it’s who you are and what you want, then I’m happy for you.” He inhaled deeply. “I just hope the you ten years from now is as happy as you are today. With whatever he chooses to do.”

I couldn’t help myself. I got up and sat on his lap, giving him a hug before kissing his cheek. “Has anyone ever told you that you are the sweetest man to ever live?”

He chuckled, but he leaned into me and we sat like that for a while. Then we cleaned up the kitchen, moving around each other with the occasional soft touch. We watched TV in bed, and he was quick to pull me into his arms, my head on his chest as we laughed at some awesomely bad sci-fi show from the ’80s.

He’d said I mattered to him, and lying there with him like that, I could have let myself believe it.

NINE

NOLAN

I was sittingat my desk at work, staring into space and not even seeing any of the files and reports on my desk. My mind was at home, in my bedroom, to be exact, remembering and reliving exactly what I’d done to Benji before work.

My god, his body was utter perfection. As if he’d been designed with me in mind.

His perfect arse, his pretty eyes, his full lips. The way he laughed, the way he clung to me. The way he begged me.

Men had fought wars for less.

I was all too aware I had feelings for him and painfully aware that he was leaving in a few days.

I could ask him to stay longer. Hell, I’d pay him to stay.

But to what end?

I couldn’t expect him to stay forever. I couldn’t payhim forever. And I couldn’t ask him to quit his job for me. That was ludicrous and unfair on him.

He’d said twice now that he enjoyed his work and that he was an incredibly sexual person. I could vouch for that.

But I couldn’t ask him to quit. As much as I wanted him to.

As much as the thought of another man touching him pained me...

A sharp knock on my door surprised me, and Dom stuck his head in. “Got a second?”

He had a manila folder in his hand, so assuming it was work related, I nodded. “Sure. Of course, come in.”

He did, closing the door behind him, which wasn’t protocol...

So this was a personal conversation then.

“You were a million miles away,” Dom said, sitting across from me. “In a fairly pleasant place, by the looks of it.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He knew about Benji, so I didn’t have to hide it from him. “Something like that. How about you? A little birdie told me his bratty friend stayed all night long at your place the other night.”

“Hmm.” Dom’s eyes met mine and he didn’t smile. “About that little birdie,” he said. “What do you know about him?”

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