Page 46 of Denial

My mom and Annabell fuss over my dress once I’m in the church and make sure everything is perfect from the hem of the dress to the long train flowing behind me. They brush a few curls off my face so they’re hanging where they’re supposed to be and hand me my flowers. Carson went out and picked flowers from the field behind the clubhouse and a florist made them into a beautiful bouquet. They’re tied together with a thin silver ribbon and I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out.

Before I can get lost in my head too much, the wedding march starts to play and my dad steps us off to the side of the double doors as we watch the girls start to walk down the aisle. When Faith gets to the doors, she pauses and turns back to look at me.

“I love you, sis,” she whispers as she soon disappears and the doors are closed once again so my dad and I can step back in front of them.

“I love you, Baby Girl. Carson is a lucky man and I know you’ll both make the other one happier than you’ve ever been,” my dad says as tears fill my eyes from his words.

“I love you, Dad. Thank you for always being there for me,” I return as the doors open and it’s time for me to walk toward my future.

My eyes lock on Carson as he stands next to King. He doesn’t look away from me even as King whispers something in his ear. I see the emotion on his face and the moisture building in his eyes with every step closer to him I take. By the time my dad and I reach the end of the aisle, my own eyes are filled with tears I’m desperate to hold in.

Carson is wearing a black tuxedo with black button-down shirt. His tie is a dark blue with silver stripes going diagonal down the length. Carson’s hair is trimmed and I can see just the hint of tattoos peeking out of the shirt covering his torso. His feet are covered by his standard boots but they’re new. In his jacket is a small boutonniere of wild flowers that the other two guys are wearing as well. My soon-to-be husband looks sexy as fuck in his tuxedo and I can’t wait to tear it off of him once we’ve gotten through the ceremony and reception.

“Who gives this woman away,” Slim asks, his voice echoing in the church as the crowd remains silent.

“Her mother and I do,” my dad responds, his voice catching before he clears his throat, turns to face me, and presses a soft kiss on my forehead.

I don’t look back as he steps to his seat next to my mom. My eyes are still locked on Carson. He takes my hands in his and we remain facing one another as Slim starts the ceremony.

“You may all be seated. We are gathered here today to join Carson ‘Jinx’ Busch and Hope Angel Long,” Slim begins, his voice catching as he looks at the crowd surrounding us. “These two have been dancin’ around one another for years. They’ve denied their feelings and finally come together when the time was right. It is truly my honor to wed my grandson and a girl I’ve had the pleasure of watchin’ grow up into the amazin’ woman she is today. We’re gonna keep this short and sweet because I know my grandson doesn’t want to waste any time when it comes to marryin’ his woman.”

We all laugh because Slim’s not wrong. Carson is already fidgeting and shifting from one foot to the other. I tighten my hands around his for a brief second before Slim tells Carson to say his vows.

“Hope, I’ve called you my Sweet Girl for as long as I can remember. Even if it was only in my head. You are truly one of a kind and the perfect combination of your mom and dad. You’ve got the patience, sweetness, huge heart, and all the love to give the world around you from your mom. From your dad you’ve learned not to take any shit, to trust your gut, and defend those who can’t defend themselves for one reason or another. You’re the strongest woman I know and that’s sayin’ somethin’ with who our mothers, aunts, and cousins are. Everythin’ you’ve been through, fought for, and survived is a testament to your will to live and the fight you have deep within you.

“I love you more than I’ll ever be able to say or show you even if we have a hundred years together. You make me want to be the best version of myself and I can’t wait to make you mine in every single way. I want to spend the rest of my days baskin’ in the light you shine into the world and breathe the air needed to get through each second of life. Hope, it truly is an honor that you see somethin’ in me and chose to make me yours as much as I want to make you mine. I vow to love and support you, give you what you need and want, and remain faithful and loyal all the days of my life,” Carson says as tears fill my eyes because I know he has a hard time putting what he wants to say into words. He’s gotten his point across and I can hear more than one person already sniffling as they try to hold back their tears.

“Hope, you may say your vows,” Slim says when I remain silent for longer than I intended.

“Carson, I’ve loved you since before I even really knew what love is. You’re the sweetest guy I know even if no one gets to see that side of you. You’re protective, loving, smart, strong, and loyal to a fault. When I wanted to lash out and rebel against my dad’s rules and structure, you were there to make sure I was safe and the first person to me if I did manage to hurt myself. What everyone believes they know about you is false and I love that you did that for others while remaining true to yourself. Even now, you go above and beyond to support those in your world. A perfect example of that is the friendship you have with Morgan. You were the one she chose to trust and you didn’t take a second of that for granted. The entire time, you remained loyal to her and helped her through the toughest times in her life. Not once, but twice.

“I love you Carson so much and you make me not only want to be a better woman, but be the best version of myself for you and only you. You give me a reason to get up in the morning even when it’s the last thing I want to do. When I’m not strong enough to get through something, you give me the strength I need without hesitation. I will love you every second of every day for the rest of our lives and it will never be enough. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives and it is my honor that you want me to walk this journey with you. We will remain at one another’s side, never one in front of the other. I vow to love and support you, give you what you need and want, and remain faithful and loyal all the days of my life,” I tell Carson as the first tear slips free and rolls down my cheek.

Slim goes through the part of the ceremony where we exchange rings and repeat the words he tells us. Still, I don’t take my eyes off of Carson as he slides the ring on my finger and then I return the favor and slide a wedding band on his finger. Again, my eyes fill with tears and I know this is the happiest moment of my life.

“By the power invested in me by me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Carson, you may kiss your bride,” Slim says as everyone once again breaks out in laughter from his wording of that sentence.

Everything fades to nothing as Carson moves in closer to me.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Today, you’re positively glowin’ and sexier than ever before,” he whispers before pressing his lips against mine and removing his hands from mine to place around my back.

I don’t hesitate to open when Carson deepens the kiss as I wind my arms around his neck. It’s not until I feel a tapping on my shoulder that I break free from Carson and turn to find my sister with a smile on her face and tears sliding down her face. She hands my bouquet back to me and moves her eyes to look at our dad who has his arms wrapped around our mom. Yeah, don’t want to get too deep into kissing Carson with my dad a few feet away from us.

“Ladies and gentleman, it’s my pleasure to introduce for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Jinx Busch!” Slim announces, his voice raised as the crowd filling the church claps and cheers.

Carson grabs my hand once again and we leave the church. He leads me to the waiting limousine we’ll take back to the clubhouse where I’ll change and get on Carson’s bike. I wanted to be on the back of his bike for part of our day and he fought me so hard. We finally compromised and I’ll ride from the front of the clubhouse to the back before I’m back off it again. That will be the only time I sit on his bike until after I have the baby. He’s not happy about me even being on it for a minute, but the club is such a huge part of our lives and I can’t imagine having our wedding day without a bike being involved in one way or another. So everyone has pitched in to make sure nothing is wrong with my husband’s bike and that I’ll be perfectly safe on the back.

When we get back to the clubhouse, the first thing we do is take the wedding pictures with our entire wedding party and family members. There’s pictures of me on Carson’s bike with him at my side. Those ones are actually my favorite ones and I can’t wait to see how they come out. My dad didn’t grumble one time about the pictures being taken of him and there are several of the two of us. My second favorite ones are probably the ones of Faith, Devil, myself and Carson. The only thing that would make them better is if Caleb were home with us. We all miss him so much and today is just another reminder that he’s not here right now. We’ll do pictures with him once he comes home.

After changing my dress into a shorter version, Carson leads me back out to the front of the clubhouse where his bike is waiting for us. My dad and Playboy are right there waiting to help me on the back after Carson gets settled and they’ll walk next to us in case something does happen. Our dads are ready to pull me off the bike in a second if that’s what needs to happen. Both of them have changed into their jeans and cuts, looking much more themselves than before. I wasn’t expecting Playboy to wear a tuxedo with the rest of the guys who did, but he showed up in one and made me cry.

“You ready for this, Sweet Girl?” Carson asks me once our dads have me on the bike behind him and I wrap my arms around his waist.

“I’ve been ready for so long, Carson. I love you,” I tell him, not bothering to tell him of the trust I have in him because he already knows.

“I love you, too, Sweet Girl,” he returns, starting the engine of his bike as it rumbles in the air and vibrates the pavement under us.

We slowly make our way around the clubhouse until Carson parks on a board that was laid out specifically for his bike so it doesn’t sink in the grass or fall over. My husband helps me off the bike and he presses a kiss to my lips before we turn to face our family and friends who literally fill the backyard of the compound. The cheering and clapping is so loud as everyone begins to slowly come up to congratulate us and give us hugs and well wishes. It takes us forever to get to our seats, but we have a large family and even more friends that are helping make our special day even better.

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