Page 47 of Denial

During the rest of the reception, we do everything you would normally see at a wedding. I dance with my dad. He chose the song She’s Somebody’s Daughter by Drew Baldridge and I didn’t bother holding in the tears as he spun me around the dance floor like he used to when I was a very little girl, standing on his feet as he danced with me. When it was time for Carson and I to have our first dance, he chose Yours by Russell Dickerson. It’s one of my favorite songs and he knows that I truly love this one. We had our cake and smashed it in one another’s faces before it was time to throw the flowers and garter. Faith caught my bouquet before I was sat in a chair in the middle of the dance floor. Carson got down on his hands and knees, putting his head under the loose bottom of my dress to remove the garter with his teeth. My dad wasn’t too happy about that one, but he didn’t do anything. Axel, Psycho’s son, caught the garter and ended up taking pictures with Faith. I couldn’t stop the smile from covering my face at the two of them so timid and shy around one another.

When I started to yawn, Carson declared it time for us to leave for the night. We’re choosing not to go on a honeymoon right now and focus on being together without all the crazy shit that’s been going on around us. We’re moving into our new home as of tonight, and I can’t wait.

As we get up from our seats at the head table filled with all of the amazing food that’s been prepared for us, everyone else stops what they’re doing to send us off. Carson and I walk from the party to our home. By the time we’re at the wraparound porch, I’m in his arms as he carries me up the steps and through the door of our home. He doesn’t put me down until we’re in our bedroom. There we find the bed covered in flower petals with a note that there’s a ton of food that’s been prepared and left in the kitchen for us to devour while we spend the next few days locked in our own world. Carson strips me out of my dress and lays me on our new bed before removing his own clothing. We spend the rest of the night enjoying one another over and over again until neither one of us can keep our eyes open a second longer. Best day and night of my entire life and it’s only going to get better moving forward.

Epilogue

Genesis

YESTERDAY I WAS at the Phantom Bastards clubhouse to help out with the reception for one of their members. I work at Enchantment, their strip club, as a waitress but I’ve spent time bartending as well. Devil knows I need the extra money and offered me a job helping at the clubhouse. It was an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. The reception was beautiful and I could hardly take my eyes off the bride and groom. I’ve never seen a couple more in love than the two of them as I spent all night filling glasses and opening beer bottles in front of those getting them. It didn’t stop me from wishing that one day I’ll find a love like theirs even if I know it will never happen for me.

Today I’ve been given the day off because I didn’t get home until almost eight o’clock this morning after cleaning up once the party was done. Devil and everyone told me I wasn’t responsible for helping and that the Prospects are there to help get everything taken care of, but that’s not the kind of person I am. I was hired to do a job, and I did that job in full despite what everyone said. Devil and Vault allowed me to stay and clean making sure I knew where the areas are I can’t enter. Once I was done, I left and came home to my small apartment in the city to crash. I’ve just woken up and am lost in my mind as I remain in the comfort of my bed.

I moved to Pine View a few months ago and immediately got a job at Enchantment. Devil thought I was there to become a dancer and essentially told me that I was too large for that job. I remember the conversation to this day.

Walking into Enchantment, I take in the club around me. Everything is done in black, silver, and the darkest purple. There are tables filling the main floor around the stage and a long bar runs the length of the room. Directly in front of me, I see a hallway with doors standing open and I’m guessing they lead to the private rooms for lap dances and whatever else goes on in a strip club.

I walk to the table just in front of the stage, listening to the whispers from the other women waiting to audition to become the club’s newest stripper. Or dancer I guess you call them these days. I’ve heard shit said behind my back my entire life and I try to ignore it the best I can. It hurts like hell to know I’m the one everyone talks about because I’m not skinny or pretty. Yes, there’s a prettiness to me for a larger woman. At least that’s what I’ve been told every day of my life.

Handing over the application and my resume, I wait for the guy to look up from the phone in front of him. I try so hard not to shift from one foot to the other as nerves fill me. I’ve tended bar plenty of times in the past. Mainly in the small towns I’ve lived in over the years. Never have I tried to tend bar or waitress in a strip club because I don’t fit the mold of the women who work in these places and I never will.

When the man finally takes his eyes off of his phone and looks up at me, I’m struck by the brightness of his blue eyes with flecks of gray. It feels as if he’s able to see straight into my soul and that I’ll never be able to hide a single secret from him. Taking in his appearance as he sits at the table in front of me, he’s almost as tall as I am. I’m not tall at all, barely standing over five feet. He’s got a five o’clock shadow covering his face and his tan skin is covered in ink from the exposed flesh I can see under his shirt and the vest proclaiming him as a member of the motorcycle club in the city.

“You’re here to waste my time?” he questions me, his deep graveled voice washing over me and coating my skin in goosebumps.

“I’m not here to waste anyone’s time. I need a job and it says that you’re hiring for all positions,” I return, trying to keep the sass from my voice while keeping my eyes locked on his.

“You’re not the kind of woman we’d hire to be a dancer. You don’t have what it takes to entice men to give up their money or want anythin’ from you. We don’t have any costumes that would fit you either and we provide all of that for our dancers,” he states, almost breaking my heart in pieces with how harsh his words are toward me.

Again, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before from everyone that’s ever been in my life. Coming from this man I know nothing about seems to shatter me for a reason I don’t want to begin digging into.

“I’m not here to dance. I know perfectly well I’m not the kind of girl men want to see dance or take her clothing off. I’m here to be a waitress or bartender. I’ve got more than enough experience to do both positions,” I tell him, trying to hold the tears back while ignoring the laughter filling the room from the women overhearing our conversation.

“Again, you don’t have what it takes to fill those roles in the club either. We’re tryin’ to make money. Not lose it,” he states as I offer him a weak smile before turning and walking away from him without another word.

Walking out of the club, I can feel my cheeks on fire from the blush covering my skin. I’ve had the worst life ever and I thought moving to the city where no one knew me would finally be my chance to start over and break the cycle I seem to be stuck in. A few careless words from one man I know nothing about absolutely shatters me as the first tear falls from my eye and rolls down my cheek. I do nothing to brush it away as I walk from the strip club toward the next stop on my short list of places to apply for a job. I don’t know why I even bother when I’ll get the same reaction from most everyone I come into contact with.

Pushing myself out of bed, I shake those thoughts away. At the end of the day, I got the job at Enchantment because of Vault, the President of the club. He saw my resume and the interaction between the man and myself before personally calling me to offer me a position. The day I started I discovered the man who was so horrible to me is named Devil and is the manager of the club. He apologized for his behavior that day and I could tell he was being forced to offer up the sorry excuse of an apology. I didn’t accept it, instead choosing to let my hard work and dedication prove to him how wrong he was about me.

It's been months since I started working at Enchantment and I’m the number one employee Devil has. I don’t cause any problems, I’m there early every single day I work, the bar is always stocked because of me, and I cover anyone’s shift who calls off. It doesn’t matter if I’m already working and just take over the tables for whoever didn’t show up or if I go in on my day off. I’ve busted my ass every single day and my tips have done nothing but go up every shift I have. I might be a larger woman, but I know how to take care of my customers and make them feel as if they’re the only ones in the club. That’s why they all love me and beg to sit in my section when I work.

Devil has already given me two raises in the short time I’ve been working for him and has also added on more to my job. He depends on me for most everything and I keep my mouth shut and barely talk to him. Devil doesn’t deserve anything from me and I won’t give him an inch no matter how sexy I find him.

As I go to head into the bathroom so I can shower and get ready for a day of cleaning, there’s a knock on my door. I groan in response because I refuse to go into work tonight. I’ve worked the last twenty days straight and it’s time for me to have a day off. I think I’ve more than earned it.

Walking to the door, I open it to find Melinda on the other side. She’s been beaten to hell and her clothes are hanging from her body by mere threads. Her son, Mathias is in her arms as tears fall from her eyes. I quickly usher Melinda in my apartment and close the door firmly behind her before locking it.

Melinda is my foster sister. I was placed with her family just before aging out of the system. I wouldn’t say we became friends because we’re completely different. Melinda is selfish and doesn’t listen to anyone no matter how good the advice is. Her son is so sweet and innocent and I honestly hate her for the fact that she’s a mother and has no clue how to love her sweet baby boy. He’s nothing more than a pawn in the games she plays with her current boyfriend, Ricky. Mathias is the one suffering as I turn to face my foster sister.

“What happened?” I ask her, trying to keep the hostility out of my voice.

“I’m done, Genesis. I can’t be with Ricky any longer. He’s going to kill me and Mathias. Can you take the baby and raise him as your own while I get the fuck out of here?” she returns, already handing her son over to me as she quickly backs away and doesn’t bother looking at him for a single second.

“Are you sure, Melinda?” I ask, hope filling me because this baby boy needs love in his life.

Mathias is six months old and hasn’t had the best start to his life. Melinda ignores him more often than not and doesn’t bother to take care of his basic daily needs. I’ve shown up to her apartment more times to find him screaming and crying in a soiled diaper with no formula in sight. I’ve spent more money on this baby than I ever thought I would. No, I don’t regret a single second of the time I’ve had him in my life or how much I’ve spent on him.

“I’ve already signed away my rights, Gen. Here’s all of his paperwork. You can adopt him or do whatever you want. Ricky isn’t on the birth certificate and there’s no way in hell he can know you have him. He’ll come take him from you and kill him without hesitation. I know you don’t like me and I’m not the mother Mathias needs. He needs you. I do love him, Gen. As much as I can love him, I truly do. That’s why I’m giving him to the one person I know will shower him with all the love and attention he needs. Please don’t look for me and keep an eye out for Ricky,” Melinda says, walking away from me and leaving the apartment.

---