Page 104 of Where We Fall

“What are you doing here?” Pa peeks over the paper.

I sigh. Walking into the room, I take a seat on the couch diagonal from him. “Just took some time off work. I needed to clear my head.”

“What’s going on?” Ma takes a seat next to Pa.

I can tell she is antsy to get my response. Ma is normally calm and collected, unless she thinks something is wrong with one of her kids.

I shrug. “Lexi moves back to Chicago tomorrow. She needs to be with her mom.”

“Oh, that poor girl. It must be so hard to take all that on,” Ma says sympathetically.

“Yeah, it’s definitely taken a toll on her.”

“It’s a good thing she has you now,” Pa says.

I blow out a breath and let out a small, bitter laugh. “Not really. We broke up.”

“You what? Why?” Ma asks.

“It was her idea. I don't know, I didn't want to, but once she brought it up, I didn’t really have any good argument against her concerns.”

“What are her concerns?” says Ma.

“That she’ll hold me back from starting a family. She doesn’t see a time in the next decade where she won’t be held down in Chicago, and my company is here.”

Ma and Pa do a sideways glance at each other.

“Those are valid concerns. I imagine you do want to start a family,” Pa says.

I nod my head. “Of course I do.”

“How do you feel about it all?” he continues.

I pause. It’s almost impossible to articulate. I’ve been asking myself that question for days. What I feel is complete and utter despair. What I think changes at any given minute of the day.

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.”

“I think you do know. You just aren’t ready to admit it,” Ma says.

“No, really. I’m so confused. What am I supposed to do?”

My leg is bouncing uncontrollably. I can’t sit still. The nervous energy coursing through me needs an outlet, but I’ve had no motivation to go for a run to release it.

“I heard about your fight with your brothers,” Ma says.

I release a frustrated breath. “Of course, they told you.”

She ignores my comment. “It’s about time you stood up to them.”

“What?” I ask because I’m not sure I heard her right.

“I was waiting for you to do it. Those boys love you like crazy—too much sometimes. Even when you were little, they would follow you around to make sure you were safe. They would do anything to console you if you fell and bumped your head. As you grew up and started acting out, like all boys do, they made it their mission to try and protect you from yourself. They made the same mistakes. They didn’t want you to have to learn the hard way like them.”

Her words are making my head spin.

“Trust me, those boys are no saints. Anything you can think of to get into trouble, one of them did it. But what they haven’t realized is that it’s not their job to protect you. It’s their job to support you. It was only going to change when you demanded it to.”

I don’t know how to respond. Her words are so shocking that I can only stare at her. That fact that she saw what I’ve felt all of these years is enough to make me want to hug her.

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