Page 105 of Where We Fall

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I finally respond.

She smiles kindly at me. “You needed to see it for yourself and have the confidence to speak up. It’s not like I haven’t told the boys to go easy on you over the years, but you know them, always thinking I worry too much.”

“Lexi gave me the confidence.”

The words are so staggering that I’m overcome with emotion. She got me on a level unlike anything I have ever, or likely will ever, experience again. The realization is damn depressing.

“What should I do next?” I finally ask.

“You know what you should do,” Pa tells me.

“What?”

“You should go for a walk,” he says.

I try to understand his advice. “Go for…a walk?”

“Sure. If my thoughts are ever muddled and confusing, or I have an important decision to make, I’ve found that going for a walk helps clear my head.”

“That’s it…your big advice for me. Go for a walk.”

I almost can’t believe the words I’m hearing.

“Well, you got any other ideas, smarty pants?” he fires back.

“No.”

“Okay, then. If you don’t have any ideas, let’s not go criticizing the people whodohave ideas.”

That shuts me up. He’s right about one thing: I don’t have any ideas right now. I feel like my life is at a crossroads. I’m at this point where a major decision needs to be made. I just don’t know what that decision is. Or do I? Clearly, Ma and Pa think I need to make this decision on my own, and they think I already know what it is.

“Alright. A walk it is,” I say as I stand.

“Your father is right. A walk always clears my head. You should make it an outdoor walk, though. The fresh air is part of what helps clear the mind.”

“Got it,” I reply. “I guess I’ll get right on that.”

They walk me to the door, where Ma gives me a huge hug, and Pa shakes my hand.

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. Trust yourself,” Ma says as her parting words.

Trust myself.

Sometimes that’s hard to do. After years of people doubting my decisions, it starts to mess with you. You begin to wonder if you’re capable of ever making the right decision.

With nothing else to lose, I get in my car and head to my favorite park. It’s cold outside, but maybe the chill will also breathe some life back into me.

Chapter Thirty-One

Lexi

"Everythinginhere,boxesand furniture are good to go on the truck," I tell the mover.

"Sounds good. We'll get to work right now."

I hold my disposable cup of coffee that I picked up this morning. Everything is packed away, but there is no way I can survive this morning without getting some caffeine in me.

My car is already packed with my suitcases and bags. All there is to do is lock up once the movers are done.

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