Page 20 of Beneficial Misfortune

Is money tight? Yes, absolutely.

Even with my apartment being one of the cheapest I could find, it's expensive. I’ve come to find that just about everything here is. Food, clothes, and basic everyday things all cost more than they did back in Maine. So, while I make more than I ever have, it’s not as if I have money to waste. Oftentimes, my checks line up to be exactly what I need, and any savings I might have are for my off time in the summer. With the summer program, I will have less time unpaid, but it’s only three days a week for five weeks. Leaving me with five weeks unpaid.

I flop down on my bed with a sigh, looking up at the ceiling as my mind races, trying to weigh out what might be the best choice.

If I took the job, I’d have a lot more room to live, and even more if I took him up on the housing offer.

He seems genuine about looking for the best nanny for Addison, and from everything I’ve heard from him and her, it’s been a struggle so far. I can understand why he would offer,but I’m still not sure I’m nanny material. Hell, I’m not even one hundred percent sure what a nanny does.

For all we know, she could enjoy me as a teacher and hate me as a nanny.

Of course, there's also the loss of freedom. When I came to New York for a fresh start, I swore I would do it on my own. I don’t ever want to be under someone’s thumb the way I was with Carter ever again. Leaving him opened my eyes to how much I depended on him and how little I had of my own. He’d controlled every aspect of my life from the time we met in high school almost nine years ago.

It was his money, his house, his everything, and I hadn’t ever really second-guessed it until I packed my meager possessions up to leave. It was pathetic to see my tiny car barely full after all those years together, but even worse was how long it took me to find myself again. Some days, I’m not sure I have one hundred percent yet.

Never again.

I don’t think Nathaniel is like that, and it’s not like we're dating. But it would be his house, and I don’t think I can give up having my own space, no matter how much money it would save me.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I roll over to face the wall.

I could stay here and still take the job, get the money, and keep my freedom. It’s the best of both worlds, and he seems more than okay with whatever I choose. But would he expect me to give up my job?

Ugh, thinking about all the possibilities and pros and cons is giving me a headache.

No closer to making a decision, I let my eyes fall closed and drift off to sleep.

Maybe a good night's rest will help me clear my mind and find an answer.

Sleeping isn’t a magic cure, and when I wake up for work, I’m no closer to knowing what I should do than I was the night before. So, instead of dwelling on it, I push it off and go about my day because it’s easier.

It’s a Monday, but I’ve found Mondays in the summer program aren’t the same as they were in the regular school year. Kids are excited to be in the program, and there are only so many spots. I have kids from a mix of grades and classes, not just my own, but it’s still less than a regular-size class.

Trevor decides today is a good day to meet me out front once again. For the most part, he’s been pretty scarce since his run-in with Nathaniel, but I knew that wouldn’t last forever.

“Morning, Kat,” he calls, popping out of the office just as I head down the hall toward my class. It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes and instead plaster on a halfway polite smile.

“Morning,” I say, continuing on my way.

Please, just go to your class.

I mentally beg him, but of course, he doesn’t. Instead, he picks up his pace until he catches up to me. Damn my shorter legs.

I glance his way and find him smiling as he watches me.

“So a little bird told me you have a birthday coming up.”

His words catch me off guard, and I freeze.

How the hell does he know that? I didn’t tell anyone.

He must see the confusion on my face, because he laughs and nods back to the office. “Barbara has a faculty calendar that has everyone’s birthdays on it.”

His explanation takes a bit of weight off. It makes sense, I suppose, but I still don’t love that. I hadn’t told anyone mybirthday on purpose, and of all the people to know it, of course, it had to be Trevor.

“Oh,” I mutter, unsure what to say before continuing toward my class.

“Yeah, so usually the staff goes out for drinks to celebrate. But since it’s already the end of July and there aren’t a lot of us teaching the summer program, plus it’s the weekend, so most everyone already has plans,” he says, and I can already tell where this is going. “So, I was thinking this would be a perfect time for us to hang out.”

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