Page 105 of Beneficial Misfortune

At first, I’d wanted her gone. We hadn’t had a woman here since Natasha, and we’d done just fine. I know our agreement was still an option, but somehow, I never thought they would want to try that again, let alone find someone who was willing and worked for all of them.

Kat changed it all, though. She was, in fact, somehow suitable for each of them, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in her at first as well. Back when she was simply Addison’s teacher, before my uncle set his sights on her, or I realized she had slept with Des and my father last year.

So why is it that when she attempted to leave after the run-in she had with Trevor at the school, I suddenly found that’s not what I wanted at all?

Fuck.

After Natasha, I’d sworn that even if they found someone else, I would stay out of it. She’d come so close to ripping us apart that it wasn’t worth it. No woman was. Besides, I didn’t need a woman to be happy. I had my dream job, and my family was happy and healthy.

I was set… or I thought I was.

Something about Kat calls to you, though. She’s easy to be around, thoughtful, and caring. And as much as I hate tokeep comparing them, Natasha was never any of those things, especially not to me.

No, she tolerated me, and that’s the nicest way to phrase it.

Natasha wanted my cousin from the start. She’d been just like every other one of his fangirls, chasing after him with hearts in her eyes. She got herself a job down at the club in hopes of running into them and getting a shot with him, and she’d done it. Not that it’s hard. Before Kat, Desmond was a bit of a whore. He’s always loved the attention he gets at the club, which is why he often spends more time there than the rest of us.

All it took was once, and she was hooked.

Before Natasha, the pool house was just that, a pool house. It wasn’t a place for them to take their sexual adventures, which means there were many days of waking with random women here in all kinds of states of undress.

Thankfully, Addison was still very young, just under a year old. Looking back now, the pool house really was a wonderful idea, one we should have used earlier.

Natasha took full advantage of having free rein of the house, though, and quickly set her sights on more than just Des. When she thought she might be able to get farther, she went from heart eyes to dollar signs, and before long, she had all three of them convinced she could be not only the perfect wife to them all but also a perfect mother to Addison.

She could have won an award for the acting, I swear.

If any of them were around, she was perfect. She changed diapers, played with toys, and handled tantrums with grace while being completely put together. Natasha was like Barbie, never a hair out of place.

But it was a lie. The second she was alone with Addison, she would quickly hand her off to her nanny. If Addison continued to cry or needed attention, Natasha would quickly make her way to the farthest corner of the house to escape her.

It was annoying, but they were happy, and Addison had a nanny to take care of her, so I kept my mouth shut. I’d never taken an interest in her, and she’d never even attempted to talk to me. Hell, I’m not even sure she realized I was a Lawson until after almost a year of her dating them. And it was only because she brought up the question of marriage that she ever really cared to take notice.

I’m not sure if it was the first time she brought it up, but one night at dinner, she decided to push it far past what my uncle seemed to want. She ended up hurting her own feelings because Nathan Lawson never had any plans to marry.

It’s one of the reasons why Addison was born from a surrogate. Desmond’s mom was a woman he had a short relationship with, but that was back when he first started his business, and there was a lot of red tape around his birth that ensured she stayed away. I’m not sure if it was true or something he just told us, but growing up, we were always told she was a drug addict. A one-night stand gone wrong, and nine months later, there was a baby with a note on Uncle Nate’s doorstep. As far as I know, Desmond’s mom never came back, and if she did, I never heard about it.

Desmond was the one with the bright idea for her to be with all of us, and then maybe one day we could see about marriage. Then she would beourwoman, the only Lawson woman.

It was something both Nathan and my father often worried about. Someday, splitting the company for Desmond and I. Desmond claimed that was the perfect solution, and I’m sure it sounded like it. The only problem is that Natasha didn’t want me, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t want her. I’d seen the type of person she was. She’d made no attempt to hide it from me, because why would she?

It worked for about a month. When the guys were around, Natasha was all over me the same way she was with them. Shewould choose me some days over them, coming to sit with me when we watched a movie or spending the night in my room. What they didn’t see is that she didn’t want to touch me, to the point that she had me sleep on the ground when she stayed in my room and took the bed.

I’m not sure why I let her get away with it for so long. Maybe I’d hoped one day she would warm up to me and we could have what she did with the others. Or maybe I just didn’t want to disappoint them and destroy what they had, but after a few months, I couldn’t take it anymore. I heard Nathan talking to Vince about considering marrying her, and I had to tell him about how terrible she was. Vince being there was helpful. I know he hated her. They never ever got along, and he often accused her of being a money-chasing whore.

Something I agreed with, and they do as well now.

Desmond hadn’t talked to me for a long time after Nathan exposed everything I said and kicked Natasha out with a stack of paperwork from our lawyers.

I’m almost positive Kat isn’t like Natasha, and I’d bet money this won’t have the same outcome, but I’d always thought, even before Natasha, I was fine alone. For a while with her, I’d thought I wanted more, but I realized I was wrong. I didn’t need her, and I don’t need Kat…

But maybe, just maybe, I want her, and she might want me too?

Is that such a crazy thought?

With Natasha and any other woman who tried to pursue the ‘Lawson men,’ I’d been an afterthought or nothing at all. But Kat sees me, even when I don’t want her to.

I’m not sure I’m ready to do anything about it or even admit it out loud, but for the first time since the agreement was made, I can close my eyes and see Kat in our lives for the foreseeable future. But even more than that, I can see myself with her, usall together with kids and happy, and I’m not sure if it’s more exciting or terrifying.

---