Page 37 of Essence of his Soul

I turned too, and when I did, her face was right there—justinches from mine. If I moved even a little, our lips would meet. Her rapid breathing and the way her lips were slightly parted told me she was just as caught off guard as I was. Her warm breath brushed over my nose, and my body reacted so quickly that I almost lost control.

“Thank you so much for him,” I finally managed to say, my voice low and soft.

The way her eyes sparkled when she smiled made me tingle all over. “You took part in it, too,” she said.

“Yeah, but I didn’t carry him for nine months. I didn’t go through the pain of bringing him into this world to love him.”

She looked down for a moment, then back up at me, and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned in a little, gently brushing a strand of hair off her face.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. I could tell she was thinking. “I’ll have to show you the video my sister had taken of Tyler’s birth.”

“I would like that.”

But we were out of time, so she turned away and opened the car door. I was out of the car in an instant, offering my hand. When her fingers slid into mine, I tugged her closer.

“See you this evening,” she whispered.

My gaze swept over her features, taking in every detail. “We’ll be there.”

Just then, a blast of cold wind hit us. Essence tipped her face into it, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. I just stood there, staring at her, completely mesmerized. Her high cheeks were rosy from the cold, her hair tousled by the wind. Her beauty was overwhelming, bringing my senses to life in a way I hadn’t felt in years.

I swore to myself I wouldn’t do it and I would back off, but I couldn’t resist. Just one kiss, that’s all I needed. Essence took my breath away every second, and I needed to feel and taste her.Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers. Instead of pushing me away, she closed the door and grabbed my jacket.It’s all right, I told myself. It’s just a kiss, nothing more. But the moment her lips responded, a shiver of desire raced through me, leaving my limbs trembling with excitement. I deepened the kiss, my tongue teasing her mouth until she gave a tiny, involuntary gasp. When her lips parted, I didn’t hold back. I kissed her harder, my tongue exploring, teasing, tasting. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, feeling the warmth and softness of her body against mine. The throaty moans escaping me made it harder to think straight. I wasn’t interested in reason. The loneliness of the past two years faded away, and all that mattered was right here, right now.

Her fingers stroked over my face, then slipped behind my head as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I wanted to absorb her, to pull her into me completely. Instinctively, she pressed herself against me, reveling in the heat of my body against hers. Finally, I pulled back only because I knew she needed to return to her classroom. Essence looked confused, just like I felt. Her voice was shaky when she said, “See you later.” With that, she turned and quickly walked back into the school.

Chapter 10

Tamara blinked a few times, trying to process what I just said. “Wait, let me get this straight. Mark has asked you to marry him not once, not twice, but three times, and you’ve turned him down each time?”

“Don’t even go there,” I warned her, feeling the frustration bubbling up.

Tamara just shook her head, clearly not understanding. “Sis, I can’t figure you out. You’ve been waiting for this man for years, turning down almost every double date I’ve tried to set you up on, and now that he’s back, you suddenly decide you’re not interested?”

I looked up from my lunch, trying to deny it. “I haven’t been waiting for him.”

“Oh, yes, you have,” Tamara laughed. “No man has ever been able to hold a candle to the insatiable Mark Saunders.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know why I even bother telling you anything.”

“Because you know I’m going to give it to you straight,” she shot back, reaching for her hamburger and taking another bite.

I glanced at Tyler, sitting in a high chair, happily eating broccoli with his little fingers. He’d be sleepy soon. I knew it. We’d been Christmas shopping at the Dover Mall since it opened, all at Tamara’s insistence. I preferred waiting until school was on winter break so the stores wouldn’t be so crowded. Shopping on a weekend during the holiday season was a big mistake. Trying to push a baby stroller through a crowd of shoppers was even worse.

We spent most of the morning trying to find something ourpicky mother might actually like. Eventually, we settled on a mall gift card. Dad was much easier—three new ties, and he'd be over the moon. Picking out gifts for my niece and nephew was a breeze. Aaliyah was thirteen, going on twenty-five, obsessed with the latest fashion, and Cameron was all about video games. With Tamara’s help, I found a leather belt for her husband, Dennis. Tamara’s gift would have to wait until she wasn’t around, peeking in my bags.

Every Christmas, we drew names, and I’d pulled my aunt Geraldine. She was a seventy-year-old widow who collected angels, so I found her a limited-edition glass sculpture.

As we passed several men’s clothing stores, I debated buying Mark a gift from Tyler but decided against it. It would feel too much like a gift from me, and I didn’t want him reading anything into it.

I’d been trying to get my emotions checked all day, but nothing made sense. So, after waiting forty-five minutes for a booth at Cheddar’s, I spilled my guts to my big sister.

“So, little sis, what are you going to do?” Tamara’s question pulled me out of my thoughts.

I closed my eyes and mumbled, “Nothing. I’m not going to marry him.”

“Give me one good reason why not?”

I opened my eyes and stared at her, feeling the weight of my confession. “Because I think I’m still in love with him.”

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