Page 38 of Essence of his Soul

Tamara leaned back on the bench and burst out laughing. “Tell me something I don’t know.” She chuckled as she reached over to help Tyler with a piece of steamed broccoli that kept slipping through his fingers. “Ain’t that right, Tyler? Your mommy loves your daddy.”

“Da Da,” Tyler babbled.

“See, even Tyler knows.” Tamara couldn’t stop laughing. “I don’t see what the problem is. Mark wants to marry you, andyou’re in love with him. Sounds like the perfect solution to me.”

I speared a shrimp with my fork and turned away. I hated when Tamara tried to give me advice when all I really wanted was for her to listen. “I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving him. I want him in my bed so badly it’s driving me crazy,” I admitted, gazing at her with despair. There was no hiding the frustration in my voice.

“After two years, sex is long overdue,” she said between bites.

I frowned at her. “There’s more to a relationship than sex,” I scolded softly. Dropping my fork, I rested my chin in my hand. “I love Mark, but he doesn’t love me.”

Tamara gave me a skeptical look. “How do you know?”

“He told me so.”

She shrugged. “Men say all kinds of things. I don’t think Mark would’ve asked you to marry him just for the hell of it.”

I shook my head, my thoughts swirling. “He asked me because of Tyler. He wants his son to have a stable home with two parents like him.”

Her full lips curled into a knowing smile. “I can’t argue there. We grew up with both of our parents. I don’t know what I’d do if Dennis and I weren’t together.”

I snorted and picked up my fork again. “That’s not about to happen. I’ve never seen a couple more in love than you two.” Tamara had married her high school sweetheart, and on her thirty-fourth birthday, they’d celebrate sixteen years together. Sometimes, it was hard to believe, especially when she wore her hair in that simple ponytail and bangs that made her look years younger. Like our mother, Tamara had skin the color of Colombian coffee beans, with large dark-brown eyes.

I reached over to help Tyler with his drink cup. “Mark doesn’t believe in commitment. He told me so.”

Tamara shrugged again. “People change.”

A frown creased my forehead. “If I marry Mark, I’ll beshortchanging myself. I want a man who loves me.”

“Like Malcolm?” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “Girl, I have never met a man more wrong for you than him.”

I sighed, dropping my arm onto the table. “True, but you must admit he loves Tyler and me.”

“And that makes it right?”

I was quiet for a moment, then finally sighed and replied, “No, but it’s something to work with.”

Tamara leaned forward, elbows on the table, fingers laced together. “I disagree. You deserve to be happy, and even though I haven’t met Mark yet, I know you’d be happy with him. It’s written all over your face. Every time you mention him, your eyes light up.”

I reached down for my last onion ring and popped it in my mouth. I knew she was right. Malcolm wasn’t right for me, but was I willing to shortchange myself and marry Mark? I don’t think so. I knew that since his return, I’d barely slept a wink. And when I did, every gesture, every expression, even the sound of his voice replayed over and over in my mind.

“I wish I didn’t love him so much,” I murmured softly.

Tamara gave me a half-smile. “Girl, there’s nothing wrong with loving a man.”

“It is when he doesn’t love you.”

A wry smile tilted the corners of Tamara’s mouth. “Then make him love you.”

I studied her for a moment, unsure. “And how am I supposed to do that?”

She locked her gaze with mine. “Throw some of that Monroe whip appeal on him. He won’t know what hit him.”

Unconsciously, I stirred my iced tea with my straw. Tamara had no idea how close I’d come. The only thing holding me back was my stubborn pride.

“You need to get him to fall in love,” Tamara suggested whilesipping her lemonade.

My mouth dropped open at how easily she said it. I used to think my sister was such a prude. Over the years, I’d learned otherwise. “Girl, you’re crazy. Some of us have more important things on our minds.”

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