Page 36 of Essence of his Soul

After a moment, she took a bite of her fried chicken. “I love their wings,” she said, a smile finally breaking through her serious demeanor.

Hearing happy noises from the back seat, she glanced over her shoulder. “I think somebody is enjoying his fries,” she said with a small laugh, and we shared a brief smile before she lookedaway.

“How’s it feel, being a father?” she asked, shifting the conversation.

“Scary. Wonderful. Proud,” I replied honestly, a small smile tugging at my lips.

“How so?”

“It’s terrifying to know I’m responsible for someone else’s happiness,” I admitted. “As an army captain, I’m responsible for my troops, but this is different.”

Essence nodded, understanding in her eyes.

“Essence, I want to take you both with me when I leave.”

She was quiet for a few seconds before asking, “Do you know where you’re going?”

“I’m waiting on orders for Ft. Meade.”

She let out a sigh of relief and smiled. “Maryland? That’s not far. You’ll still be close by.”

“But not close enough. I want you to consider coming with me.”

She shook her head, sadness in her eyes. “You don’t love me, Mark. That’s the key here. So, don’t tell me that marriage will make everything magically work out because it won’t.”

“It can if you give it a chance.”

“I am giving you a chance—a chance to build a relationship with your son. I’m not marrying you just so Tyler can change his last name. We can hire an attorney to do that.”

“It’s more than just a name,” I said, frustration creeping into my voice.

Essence was protecting herself, guarding her heart. She’d been hurt once and didn’t trust her feelings enough to take that leap again. And maybe she was right—maybe I didn’t love her. But what I felt for her wasn’t just lust or a memory of the good times we’d had. Even without Tyler in the picture, I would’ve found her again. I wasn’t sure where we stood, but I knew Iwasn’t ready to walk away.

“Essence?” I called softly.

She turned and looked at me, her unshed tears hitting me like a punch to the gut.

“Baby, talk to me,” I whispered, reaching out to cup her face gently.

She shook her head. “Mark, please don’t ask me again. I know it would be better for Tyler, but you and I would have to live with that decision—and so would he.”

“Listen to me, Essence,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I’m not Clark. I'll mean it if I vow to love, honor, and cherish.” I pressed a finger over her lips. “Shhh. Don’t say any more. I don’t have to like how you feel, but I can accept it.”For now, I added silently. I wasn’t giving up, but I could almost see the thoughts swirling in her eyes—the hesitation, the nervousness.

“Just consider me a full-time father until New Year’s Day,” I said, smiling.

Her expression softened, and she finally found her voice. “Friends then,” she agreed, but the word felt hollow. It wasn’t what either of us really wanted, but it was what we were left with.

I whistled under my breath, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, I’ll be damned; it’s snowing.”

She glanced out the window and smiled. “Yeah, it is.”

“It’s gonna be a white Christmas,” I said, returning her smile.

“Yes, it appears that way.” She glanced at her watch and sighed. “I guess I need to get back.”

I started the car, pulled out of the parking lot, and drove toward the school. Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of the building.

Essence turned to check on Tyler, who had dozed off with a French fry hanging from his lips.

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