Page 54 of Bourbon & Bonfires

I smile and nod in response as I watch the older boy carry the younger one over his shoulder. I’ve always laughed and joked that people having children at my age are nuts and I’m blessed with my one child and that’s enough for me. But something about this scene, watching an older boy with two younger children hits me hard. A flash of what life could be like with Landon in the future. With another child. It’s quick but it happens and as if the gas pump is at fault for the vision, I quickly click out the last few drops of fuel before pushing the button for my receipt and getting back in my car. Where did that come from?

Instead of trying to figure out where my thoughts ran off to—babies?—I turn up the sound on my audiobook and let the gravelly voice of the narrator guide me home. I lose myself in a story filled with love, passion, and a lot of sex. No mention of babies at all.

By the time I pull into Lexington, I’m not only horny but exhausted and starving. Stopped at a red light, I quickly tap out a text to Landon that I’m almost home. Thanks to an unexpected road construction detour, it’s about an hour later than I expected to arrive. Pulling up to my house, I feel all the tension of my earlier thoughts melt away.Home.

Stepping out of the car, I stretch a little before reaching for my bag and walking to the front door. I hear my guys arguing the moment my foot hits the porch, and I smile. It’s not the greeting I used to receive from Mason when he was little, but it’s music to my ears nonetheless.

Neither Landon nor Mason notice my appearance as they both sit on the couch with Xbox controllers in their hands. The argument continues as I stand behind them with my hands on my hips, tapping my foot as I wait. I clear my throat to get their attention. When that doesn’t work, I add a little growl to it, and they both jump, throwing their controllers.

“Mom!” Mason jumps up and greets me with a hug. He’s squatted down so we’re closer in height and I place a kiss to the top of his head before he steps back.

“Hi, honey. I missed you.”

“Me too,” he agrees before stepping away and slyly walking back to where his controller is on the couch. I roll my eyes a little before turning to face Landon.

I’m prepared to say hi and expect a hug. Landon has other ideas as he scoops me up in his arms, lifting me so we’re face to face. His smile is huge and says everything I feel. I missed him. I missed this. I missed us. I was gone less than a week, but in my heart, it feels like forever.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he growls as one hand moves to the back of my head, pulling my lips to his. He keeps the kiss relatively PG, and I giggle as he nibbles at my bottom lip.

“Later,” I whisper.

Scrunching his face like the idea of waiting smells bad, he reluctantly sets me back down on my feet. Using both hands to push the hair from my face, he places three quick kisses to my lips before taking my hand and walking me to my kitchen.

“I win!” Mason shouts as we walk away. Landon and I both laugh while he guides me to the barstool and makes his way to the refrigerator.

In minutes, he placed a glass of white wine and a small salad in front of me, while placing a bowl in the microwave. My stomach offers its appreciation with a loud grumble, and I smile sheepishly. I realize I’ve hardly eaten anything over the last few days. There was plenty of food, but I was so focused on Scarlett and wallowing in my own sadness, I didn’t make it a priority.

“This looks amazing, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted. It was a long weekend. Scarlett sent me updates on her blood pressure, and Taylor called me about two hours ago to let me know she’s fine. Hopefully with everyone gone and the funeral behind her, she can relax and make it to term.”

“That’s how Scarlett is. I asked how you are,” Landon says as he sits on the stool next to me, his body facing me, with a hand on my back. As he begins lightly running his hands across my back, I feel the tension I’ve been holding leaving my body like a wave.

“Oh, I’m fine,” I quickly reply as I squirt a little dressing on my salad and shove a forkful in my mouth.

“Babe, you buried a childhood friend this weekend. I seriously doubt you’re fine. I wouldn’t be. All weekend, I thought what if that was me. It’d be one of the guys, Ash, or Piper. I can’t imagine. Just thinking of it ... well, I don’t want to.”

“I’m okay. Sad but okay. I promise.” I squeeze his hand in confirmation, and he seems to accept my response.

We sit and chat while I eat my dinner. When Mason says he’s headed for bed, Landon sends me to take a shower and get ready for bed myself while he cleans the dishes. After my shower, I pad into the living room where Landon is sitting on the couch, tapping something out on his phone. When he hears me approach, he looks up and smiles.

“I should get going, let you get some sleep,” he says, rising from the couch.

Wait, what?

“What do you mean?” I ask, feeling a little dejected.

“You’re exhausted. I’m going to head home so you can get some sleep.”

“Oh. I thought ... I mean,” I stammer as I look to the ground. I suppose I misunderstood where we were in this relationship.

“Hey,” he says, cupping my jaw, forcing me to look at him. “I don’t have to leave. I thought with the long weekend and day of driving, you’d want to curl up in bed and sleep.”

“I do. But, with you. Stay, please.”

Without another word, Landon walks to the front door, flips the lock and kicks off his shoes before turning off the lights as he walks toward me. Standing in the moonlight, he walks up to me and places a gentle kiss upon my lips.

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