Page 55 of Bourbon & Bonfires

“Let’s go to bed.”

I can’t help but feel like Landon and Mason are keeping something from me. I’ve already inspected the house, looking to see if there’s a broken lamp or picture. I found nothing out of place, but still, the looks they’ve exchanged have me curious. Part of me wants to ask what they’re up to, but another part of me wants to let them come to me. If it was something bad, Landon would tell me. I’m sure it’s something ridiculous like Mason didn’t shower the entire time I was gone, or they ate pizza for every meal.

Shrugging off the uneasiness, I drag myself into work. Dr. Burning told me to take an extra day if I needed but I already feel bad for missing so many days of work when I’ve only worked here a few months. This morning, I made my coffee a little stronger and brought an energy boost for later in case I need it.

Landon was right, I did need a good night’s sleep last night. Sleep came quickly but I was restless. Thoughts of the weekend, Scarlett’s loss, and oddly enough, that family from the gas station consumed my dreams. As I’m setting my purse in my locker, I hear my phone ding with a text message.

Dan: We need to talk.

He cannot be serious. Instead of responding, I toss my phone in my purse and begin my workday. Dan can kiss my ass. I’ve wanted to talk to him for months, and he didn’t have time. Now that he suddenly has something to discuss I’m supposed to drop everything? I don’t think so.

Focusing on my job, I embrace my exhaustion and attend to the patients. The flu season seems to be a thing of the past, and the day flows seamlessly. Most of the day is filled with well-check appointments and a few prescription follow-ups. All in all, a peaceful day at work.

At the end of the day, as I’m pulling my phone from purse, I see Mason’s text that he’s home and headed to Landon’s for work and three more from Dan. Fucking Dan. I don’t even bother reading them it’s the notification of a voicemail that causes me to pause.

“Addison, I’ve text you several times today with no reply. We need to talk, and since you can’t see fit to respond, I guess you leave me no choice. I’ll see you in a few days.”

He’ll what?

When I promised Mason I wouldn’t tell Addison about the shit he pulled while she was gone, I didn’t expect it to eat at me. But that’s what it’s doing. Expect it or not, that’s exactly what has happened. At first I convinced myself I was doing her a favor. There was no reason to upset her if nothing more was going to come of the situation. Had Spencer chosen to press charges, I would have told her immediately. Since he chose not to pursue the issue and, in fact, found it hilarious and a right of passage for the kids, I didn’t see a reason to add to her already stressful time.

I figured since Mason was scared straight, as much as you can be by the Lexington PD, with his time at the police department, he wouldn’t let something like that happen again. So again, no reason to bother Addison with the situation.

But on day three, I think I may have screwed up. This secret is killing me, and I’ve almost spilled my guts more than once. Last night, I bowed out of even hanging out after I dropped Mason off, because I couldn’t handle the guilt. Can’t handle it. As I remember the look on Mason’s face and disappointment in his voice when he realized he’d been used by the older kids, I know I need to tell her. I’m not sure if this is something that should be addressed or something we should watch.

Tonight. Tonight I’ll tell her.

That’s why I’m meeting Ben for lunch today. If there’s anyone I can depend on for some logical and rational thinking, it’s Bentley Sullivan. Plus, he’s a teacher, and he has firsthand knowledge of dealing with kids. Sure, most of them are seven years old but still, experience.

I haven’t told Mason my plan. I’m sure he’ll lose his mind and freak out. He and I both know the minute Addison finds out what happened he’s looking at an extensive punishment. I only hope I don’t suffer the same consequence.

Having spent the night in my own bed, I was up early this morning and went for a run. The crisp morning air was like an ice bath but it served its purpose. Within the first hundred meters, my mind was clear, and I realized just how screwed I may be. Did I wait too long to tell Addison? Was she going to feel like I betrayed her? Did I betray her?

As the hot water from the shower beats down on my head, no tension leaves my body. Flashes of the hurt and anger I expect to see on Addison’s face blind me, and I’m instantly filled with regret. Regret for keeping secrets and regret waiting so long to tell her.

And not telling Addison how much she means to me. I’ve done my best to take this slow, to let her set the pace. But the truth of the matter is, I’m in love with her. Every part of her makes me happy. Beyond her beauty, she’s smart, kind, nurturing, funny, and sexy as hell. She’s also feisty, challenging, and a bit skittish. Anytime I mention the future, I see her retreat into herself. The time she was away was good for us. She finally saw how much I care and am willing to be there for her. When she curved into my side and let me hold her all night, just being there for her, it was perfect.

I’m taking a chance in telling her tonight, but there’s no way I can go any longer with this guilt. I hope a night out with our friends will fix the problem, at least create a smooth transition into a difficult conversation. Best case scenario, she is relieved I was there to help her with a difficult situation. Worst case? She dumps my ass, and I wallow in my misery.

Obviously, the plan is for gratitude not attitude.

By the time I dress for work and down a few cups of coffee, I’m feeling slightly better about the situation. A breakfast burrito from Rosa’s will make all the difference so I grab my keys and head out the door.

The moment I walk through the doors of my favorite little hole in the wall, my stomach sounds its pleasure. The aroma of onions, peppers, authentic spices, and the slow-cooked beans I love so much fill the air. When we were younger, the guys and I were here most days of the week. As adults, there is no better hangover cure than a breakfast burrito from Rosa’s. I may not be hungover today but the comfort her food brings is exactly what I need.

I hear her before I see her. “Landon, come over here and give me a hug.” I laugh as I walk over to Rosa’s open arms. The one constant with Rosa Dominguez is her heart, well, and the fact that she’s never met a stranger. How this kind and warm woman raised a self-centered dick like Tony, I’ll never understand.

“How are you, Rosa?” I ask, pulling back from her embrace.

“I’m just fine. How are you? I hear you’re spending time with that sweet Addy and her boy.”

“Life in a small town.”

“No, mijo. Life with Willa Montgomery as your mother. She’s thrilled and told us all about it at Bunco.”

I laugh because this tidbit does not surprise me at all. My mom has been buzzing around me for weeks. I’ve managed to limit the number of times Addy and I have been to dinner. Mason on the other hand, has taken to my mom like a bee to honey, and she’s eating it up. Addison was cautious at first, not wanting to bring Mason into a family dynamic that may not have longevity. I let her think that was going to work and then let my mom handle the situation.

In the end, Addison accepted that as a part of the town of Lexington, we are all one big family and regardless of our future together, once you’re part of this community, you’re part of the family. Tears were shed, promises made, and a bond formed. I’m grateful for my mom and her big heart. Her acceptance of Addison and Mason makes me happy.

---