Page 53 of Bourbon & Bonfires

“I didn’t break into his house. It was just the yard.”

“Don’t get smart with me, kid. You’re walking a fine line right now.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I took those pictures yesterday and posted them on my social media. Some of the guys at school came up to me today after seeing them. They never talk to me. I have like one friend, and we don’t even have much in common. I’m the new kid and nobody has time for me. But, I put those pictures up and suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend. I may have said I knew how to get onto the property in passing.”

I slam my fist on the steering wheel. The code. That’s all on me. Shit.

“Some sophomore offered to drive a few of us out there so I went. I didn’t think it was a big deal. So what if I skipped a few classes? We didn’t have any boards with us, I didn’t go in the house. How was I supposed to know there were alarms?”

I don’t bother to respond for the rest of the drive home. I need to figure out how to deal with this. When we pull in my driveaway, I kill the engine and turn to face Mason.

“You really screwed up. This could have gone really wrong, and you’re lucky it didn’t. Spencer could have pressed charges. He didn’t because he knows me, and I promised him nothing like this would happen again. But, Mason, this is my business. Because you work for me and that’s how you had the code ... well, it could ruin my reputation.”

“I’m ... I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry, Landon. Please don’t be mad at me. Are you going to tell my mom?”

“Of course we have to tell your mom.”

“But she’s going to be so upset. She’s been so happy lately. I know I screwed up. I also know those kids weren’t trying to be my friend, they were using me. As soon as the cops came, they took off and left me and Kyle there to take the heat.”

I watch as Mason’s eyes fill with tears, and fuck it if I all my anger melts away. This kid has had such a shitty go of it, and this is like the worst fucking cherry of any shit sundae.

“If we let this go, if we don’t tell your mom do you promise to never do something like this again? Ever. Like for the rest of your life. Thug life does not look good on you.”

“I promise. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll even go to Mr. Garrison’s house and apologize to him.Anything.Please, Landon.” I look into Mason’s eyes, and I see the sincerity of the words he’s speaking and the fear in his voice. He’s pleading with me, pleading with me to keep something from his mother, a secret.

“I’ll think about it. For now, let’s get your shit and head to your house. We’ll start with you cleaning your house before your mom comes home. In fact, you need to start helping out a lot more around your house. We’ll call it your punishment for this.”

Mason nods and opens his door before heading up to my house. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this deal.

Ialmost said it. I was so tired, and he was so goddamn sexy on that call. Sitting shirtless on his bed with that just showered look, all I wanted to do was run my hands through his hair. And across his chest. And ... I’m like an addict and Landon Montgomery is my drug of choice.

The words were on the tip of my tongue as I said goodbye. It wasn’t even something I thought of but thank goodness, I wasn’t too tired to let them slip. This isn’t the first time I’ve almost slipped. I need to be careful, or he’s going to catch me off guard and then I won’t be able to take it back. It’s just too soon, and we aren’t there. I’m not certain we’ll get there.

Each of my insecurities are bubbling below the surface, and for every three steps we take forward, I take two back. I know it’s me. I’m the one with the bag of issues. I’m conflicted. In my mind, I should end things. I should encourage him to date someone his age. Someone who will give him the life and family he deserves. But then he does amazing things like checks on me throughout the day, sends me random texts to make me smile, and the whole taking care of my kid while I go out of town, and I want to be selfish. I don’t want anyone else to have him. I don’t want him to give his heart to another woman, I want it for myself.

Spending these days with my brother and our friends made me realize how much I enjoy having Landon in my life. How much I love living in Lexington, and being part of that community is as much a part of who I am now than anything has been before. Even my friends commented how different I am than just a year ago.

Last year, after Henry returned home from deployment, Taylor and I came to his welcome home party. Being around Henry and Scarlett, it stirred something in me. I was envious of their obvious love and connection. Seeing them smiling at one another, holding hands, and laughing together tugged at my heart. I missed that. No, not missed. I couldn’t miss something I never had. Then I realized yesterday, as I sat on Scarlett’s porch, I have that now. I have someone in my life who makes me laugh, who sends my heart fluttering with every touch, and a person who makes me want more out of life than just getting by.

But it was when Taylor asked me if I was ready to admit my feelings that I started to think of what I need to do. Of course, he teased me relentlessly about the age difference and maybe used the word “cougar” one too many times. I know if I’m going to make a declaration, it needs to be to Landon and not my brother. My confirmation of feelings was enough for Taylor.

As I leave town after Scarlett’s appointment, Taylor hugs me before dropping a little bit of advice in my lap.“Don’t let your past dictate your future, Addy. If you love him, be with him. Nothing matters other than who you are with him and who he is with you. Outside opinions and circumstances don’t matter. Listen to your heart. And, me.”

The drive home is long and boring but thankfully I have a new audiobook to keep me entertained. I probably shouldn’t have chosen such a spicy read for the drive. Landon will be lucky if I make it through the door before jumping him.

When I pull into a service station for gas, I pull out my phone and send my second text of the day, letting Landon know where I am and that I’m safe. I take the few minutes I have while the car fills with gas to do some stretching and spot a family at the next pump over. The parents don’t look much younger than I am, and I watch as they help their two young children from their car seats. An older boy, probably about twelve years old comes around the side to take the hand of his little brother.

The man smiles at me as he swipes his card and begins filling their minivan, I return the gesture. “You have a lovely family.”

“Thanks. I’m very lucky.”

“I love seeing older siblings help the little ones.”

“Yeah, I was worried when we decided to have kids since my son was used to being an only child. He’s been great, though. He loves his brother and sister. My wife was relieved, being a step-mom freaked her out.”

“Oh, he’s not yours together?”

“No. But, you’d never know it.”

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