Page 7 of Broken Bonds

He pushes my hair behind my ear, his eyes full of sorrow when I can finally see him.

“I love you so much, Rosebud.”

I can’t help but cry out as I hear Ollie’s voice, spinning around to glimpse him kneeling by the bed. I quickly sit up, launching myself into his arms. He presses his lips to my forehead in a soft, gentle kiss and I feel my eyelids flutter shut as warmth spreads from the spot he kisses. Wetness drips onto my forehead as he pulls away, making me hurt for my alpha.

His pain is clear on his face, in the subtle tears that trickle down his cheeks as he puts me back on the bed and slowly backs away, breaking my heart. I reach out to him, but he sidesteps me, and Rule is the one that I’m now facing.

My beautiful Rule, with a face full of sorrow and regret, looks back at me.

“I love you to the moon and back and around the galaxy, Starfire. I will always be here for you, even if you can’t see me. Just look for me in the stars.”

I’m sobbing by this point and can no longer control my tears. This can’t be goodbye.

When I refocus my attention, I see Van standing in front of me. He kneels before me, taking my hands in his and tenderly kissing each one.

“You shine so brightly, Princess. Despite how it may feel right now, love will come to you again. Seize that love Ramsey and keep it close. Don’t let it go. We won’t let you waste away alone. I refuse to watch it. I want to watch you being loved like we’ve loved you all these years and living a life of contentment with our babies. Please do this for us.”

My head is already shaking before he’s even finished speaking. He’s out of his mind.

“I don’t think I can do that, Van. I love the four of you. You are at the core of my existence. Every single one of you. How will I manage without you? How can I move on and find someone else when you four are all that I want? It’s not doable! Don’t ask me to do it.”

I’m on the brink of hysterics, covering my face with my hands.

They all surround me, wrapping me in their arms and scents, whispering to me that everything will be okay, but it doesn’t feel like it.

This feels so real. Ineedthis to be real. I don’t want to open my eyes to a world without them.

“It’s not fair. Ineedyou.”

An anguished cry escapes my lips as I clutch Lake’s arm and Rule’s shirt, trying to pull them closer to me.

“I understand that this isn’t exactly a fair situation, Star. We all do. Life isn’t always great, though. Now, we need you to be strong for us and for our babies. Listen to Van and Lake. It hurts to admit it, but they’re right.”

There is a shared anguish amongst us all. I can feel their suffering as acutely as my own, even without our bonds in place anymore. I can almost taste the fear, bitterness, and longing that the situation has created in the back of my throat. The atmosphere around us is so thick with love and regret that it’s almost tangible. No matter how hard I try, the tears won’t cease streaming down my face, and I desperately cling to the closest body near me. I feel just as exhausted in my sleep crying as I felt awake.

“Will you all just hold me, please? I just need you to hold me close. Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to feel the warmth of your arms around me for a little longer,” I whisper brokenly.

I can’t imagine myself falling in love again. The thought of them no longer being here is something I can barely comprehend. Even when I escape to my dreams, this nightmare still follows me. There doesn’t seem to be an escape.

This entire encounter seems so real, and I really want to believe it is. I’ve always believed in the supernatural. So, on the off chance it is, I just want to feel them surrounding me one last time.

I’m comforted by the warmth of their presence as they listen to me. The combination of their scents is instantly soothing, and it brings me a feeling of relief. They whisper how much they love me, how much they love the babies, and how they will watch over us always. I cry silently until everything goes dark, and I’m left alone in the recesses of my mind as I sleep the rest of the night in absolute darkness and silence.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning, it feels like my eyes are on fire. My body is aching everywhere, and all my muscles are sore from sleeping on the worn-out couch in the living room of our cabin on Lake Wynwrath.

The sun shines cheerily from the living room windows and it takes a minute for me to catch my bearings. I’m alone for the moment, so I just sit there, staring out the windows. As the morning breeze blows, the sun’s light reflects off the gently moving water. The birds perched in the trees that border the property happily sing their morning songs, unaware that my entire life came crashing down on top of me just hours earlier.

When I remember my dream, I begin to sob quietly, grateful I’m alone for the time being. I just want to be alone with my grief for a while.

They’re gone. They’re really gone.

I woke, and they aren’t here.

There are still faint traces of their scents, but they’ll vanish soon.

What if I forget? What if I can’t remember what they smelled like?

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