Page 6 of Broken Bonds

Lake was, too.

I begin to cry again in earnest, wailing into the shirts clutched tightly in my arms. All the shirts they’d worn yesterday for me. The aroma of them still clings to the fabric, the only thing keeping me from going completely overboard. But once it’s all gone, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Citrus and rosemary. Sandalwood. Cinnamon. And leather.

Home.

That’s what these fragrances signify.

They represent my home.

I found my home with them. Without them, I have nothing. I’m scared I won’t ever be able to laugh again, like I’ll be crying for eternity. The agony in my heart is infinite.

An overwhelming feeling of dread has taken hold of me, and I can feel the anxiety inside of me. It’s as if my insides are being ripped apart and a knot of trepidation has left me with a pit in my stomach, leaving me feeling ill. A gaping void has been left in my chest where my heart should be, taken away with their last breaths.

A single flutter from inside of me that I know is the babies makes me flinch.

I still have them, but will I still be the mother I’d been dreaming of without my bonds? Without their support, their direction, theirlove?

“Babe, I know it’s hard, but you must calm down. The stress isn’t good for the babies. Will you try to eat something? Some chicken noodle soup maybe? And drink some water? Please,” Jillian begs as she runs her fingers through my hair.

I know she’s right. I need to take care of my own health for the sake of the babies. Even if I’d rather just stay here and drift off until I’m reunited with my alphas again.

That’s not something they would like. I’m confident about that.

I’m feeling completely drained and exhausted. Sniffling, I blow my nose and nod my head while my eyes stay on the floor. As Jillian bustles about the kitchen to get me food, a rage builds up within me.

My soul becomes consumed with anger, yearning, and a profound sadness.

An intense feeling of fury rises in my chest as I realize I am now completely and utterly alone. Even though I know this isn’t their fault, I’m aware that it’s pointless to attempt to reason with myself while in this emotionally charged state.

A feeling of deep sadness overwhelms me whenever I think about how I won’t ever get to see their smiles again. Never feel their warmth as they wrap their arms around me. Never play or laugh orfightwith them again.

Longing for our futures together.

We still had so much more to experience together and enjoy each other’s company.

When Jilly brings me a bowl of soup and a bottle of water, I eat the food, tasting absolutely nothing, and down the water. Instantly, I’m overcome by fatigue. My eyes are swollen and aching, my nose raw. I lie back on the couch, their shirts clutched to my chest, and close my eyes.

I pray I wake up and this is all just a sick, terrible nightmare.

* * *

“Petal,” Lake whispers against the shell of my ear, tickling me.

I stretch and smile. Lake has me wrapped in his arms; his body so warm against mine. I wiggle in his grasp, laughing when he growls and nips at my shoulder.

“Naughty omega.”

He gently grasps my belly and exhales deeply. The feel of his hands as they caress my stomach and the warmth of his chest against my back has me closing my eyes again with a peaceful smile on my lips. This is Heaven, being in his arms. Now if only my other three alphas were here…

“Forgive me, Petal. This was not the way life was meant to go. We should be there. I know you can do this, though. You are resilient. I know it hurts right now, but youwillfind love again. Embrace it please. Don’t push it away,” he whispers against my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts and confusing me at the same time.

Without warning, tears flow down my face. My fingers brush my cheeks, and I feel the moisture on them. A series of images rapidly appear in my head, sending my mind spiraling. My breathing becomes labored, and I frantically push against Lake’s arms, but he doesn’t let me go.

“What are you talking about, Lake? What’s going on?” I’m panicking and struggling to turn my head so I can see him.

“Shhh… Everything will be okay, Petal. I promise. It doesn’t seem like it now, but it will be.”

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