Page 85 of Survival

“Damn it, Izzy. Talk to me.”

“Just don’t worry about it. Please. Forget I mentioned it.” I didn’t look back up.

“Who’s Chloe?” Tucker pressed next.

Fuck, why had I said anything? He barely tolerated me going to the daycare as is, and if he didn’t understand this… My fingers tugged at the ends of my hair that flowed over my shoulder.

“Who’s Chloe?” Tucker’s voice deepened. I bit my lip, hesitating, feeling like everything was about to unravel. “Tell me, Izzy, or I’m leaving.”

I finally looked up, panic striking my chest. “You’d leave me?”

“You know I wouldn’t leave you, but Iwillleave here. I’ll get an Uber over to that party and let you drive home alone if you don’t start talking. Now, who is Chloe?” he asked again, the warning for my honesty clear in his eyes.

I sighed my defeat. “She’s a baby I watch at the daycare. They called me in this morning.” I kept going when his eyes hardened, desperate to make him see. “She’s so beautiful, Tucker, with such pretty brown eyes and hair, just like our baby would have had. And she gets those cute little crinkles in her forehead when she’s stressed, just like you. Even her name is similar…”

“She’s not Zoey.” Tucker muttered it so softly that, for a moment, I wasn’t sure I’d heard him.

“I know she’s not.”

“Do you?” he growled, his anger now taking over his expression. “Because now you’re comparing her to me. Damn it, Izzy, I knew something like this could happen. Iaskedyou not to work there. Over andoveragain, I asked you. So have Annie and Jet and our moms. But no, you’re too stubborn to think for one second that we could be right. You’d rather work under thedelusionthat those babiesneedyou instead of helpingyourself. Helpingus. Damn, when did you get so fuckingselfish?”

I yanked out of the vice grip his hands had become. “Theydoneed me, Tucker.”

“No, they don’t. You thinkyouneed them, but you don’t. You need your friends and your family. We need you.Ineed you.” He held a fist to his chest.

“And I’mtherefor you!” I screamed. “How can you say I’m not? I know you’re doing so much better than I am, so I keep it in! I don’t want you to have to see it all the damn time! I don’t want to put you through that!That’swhat I do for you!”

“Well, stop it! I don’t want that kind of help! I wantyou! Ineedyou!Allof you! Not the edited version!”

“You don’t edit?!” I wasn’t really sure if he did, but desperation was crashing through me, rushing through my veins. I had to hold my ground.

“Iedit because I’m afraid you’ll break if I don’t. You’re strong. I know you are. You’ve been through hell, and you’re still here fighting, but you’re pushing yourself to the limit. I’m trying to be whatyouneed, like I wasn’t after we lost her.”

My hands flew up, gripping my hair by my ears. “Don’t. Don’t go there,” I pleaded. Not now. Not when I was on the edge.

“You see?” Tucker almost whispered then. “Exactly what I’m talking about. I’m tired of this. I’m finding a ride home.” He walked around me to pull on his boxer briefs and pants, grabbing the rest of his clothes and his shoes before opening the door. “I’ll always want you. I’ll always love you, but I needallof you. Not this version that holds back. All or none. When you decide, come find me.”

The door shut, and I stood there, breaking, silent tears streaming down my red, hot cheeks as I watched my world walk away.

Chapter 26

ISABEL

The ride home in Tucker’s Chevy felt like forever. This was not the way the night was supposed to end. It was supposed to be a beginning, a revival, not the possible end to what still held me together.

The porch light was still on when I pulled up in front of the Pierce’s house, so I knew someone was still up. I hoped his parents didn’t hear me pull up, not wanting to explain why Tucker wasn’t with me.

But fate was cruel tonight, like it often was now. I’d only made it a few feet down the wraparound drive when I heard the front door open.

Damn. I really didn’t want Jenna to see me crying. That would lead to a whole quest for explanations I wasn’t ready to give. I could just picture that conversation unfolding.

Jenna’s face would soften into concern, and those creases Tucker had inherited would show in her brow.“What’s wrong, sweetie? Do you want to come in and talk about it?”

And I’d have to shake my head, saying,“No, I really don’t think you want to hear about how I tried to sleep with your son and freaked out just at the momentary thought of your dead grandchild.”

Yeah. I held back a scoff. That conversation would not go well.

I kept walking instead, hoping whoever stepped outside wouldn’t see me.

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