Page 96 of Just Enough

Even so, I never wanted to give it up.

I’d leave right this second if he’d ask me to pack up and go somewhere with him. My future was all kinds of maps that had him in it. No matter which direction we chose, I’d make sure we stuck together.

______

That night, as I lay my head across Benjamin’s chest, making small circles with my index finger against his flawless skin, I let myself believe that he had something to be afraid of. He had the fear of losing me that kept him from bringing up the job offer. I had no idea if it was something that he’d even want to do—but from the excitement he had about his dad being away, so he could run this one—I thought maybe he really wanted to take it and hated the idea of me saying I wouldn’t go.

I hadn’t gone with him once when he had asked me to before. Well, his mom had something to do with that, but that time was also different.

He loved my body again tonight like he did every morning and night since we’d had the first taste of each other. He savored me slowly tonight, and it didn’t matter how he handled my body, I just knew I loved it however he did.

I propped my elbow up and rested my head in my palm as I looked up at him. His glasses rested on his nose. There was more stubble on his face since he’d been letting it grow the last couple of days. He was too sexy, I thought as he held his tablet up scrolling through it with one hand because his other rubbed across my arm, breaking goose bumps over my skin.

“Shit, Emily,” he muttered, surprising me because we had been in a state of quiet since making love. “Have you seen the rankings on Amazon for your books?”

I smiled. “I know. I check every morning.”

He looked up from his tablet and studied me. “Why aren’t you excited? This is amazing, babe.”

I shook my head. “I am excited, but those ranks are temporary. I can’t imagine it staying that way.”

He sighed, placing his tablet on his chest to grab my chin. “Who cares if it doesn’t last? The fact is, people are buying your words, and most of them must like them enough to keep reading.”

He forced a cheesy smile from my lips. “I do love it,” I admitted. “Just the idea people adore these two as much as I do… It does make me happy.”

“Hell yeah,” he said, and I laughed. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Have you been writing the fifth one?”

“I have been writing before going to work every day,” I answered. “Another week and I’ll probably have the rough draft finished. Then all the editing and rewriting that makes me want to gauge my eyes out will come next.”

That made him grin, then he stopped mid-grin. “You’re making money from your books now. Have you considered quitting Crash’s?”

“I’ve thought about it,” I told him. “But, I’m too afraid. Nothing’s guaranteed with self-publishing.”

“You act like I’m not right here to provide for you when your sales dip,” he mumbled.

I met his brown eyes. “You’d really take care of me, wouldn’t you?”

I wasn’t smiling or anything, I was just voicing the truth.

“Haven’t I always?” he asked, not smiling either.

This was a moment between us.

“You do,” I whispered. “You’re too good to me, Benjamin. It makes my teeth hurt.”

“Don’t call me a toothache.”

I giggled as he pulled me into his arms. I sighed into his chest and came to know that my love was never going to voice his wants to me. My heart swelled and felt like bursting when I thought about the true gravity of how much I meant to him.

“Benjamin.”

“Hmm,” he said into my hair.

“Have you thought about what you want?”

He paused, then pulled us apart. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… Is this apartment where we stay? How far are you going to take our feelings? Do you want to live in this town always, or do you want to leave?” He looked slightly shaken. I hadn’t worded it completely right. “Don’t look that way,” I whispered. “I want what you want. Sometimes I think that you’re so wrapped up in the things I want that you completely ignore yourself.”

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