Page 64 of Love in the Outfield

“Of course. Have a seat,” she suggests. I plop down in the cushy leather chair across from her. “I know you’re flying out in a couple of hours so let’s dive right in.”

“My mom’s been singing your praises. I know she’s consulted with you already, and filled you in on some of the details. She convinced me to come but I’ve got to level with you, I’m not sure how I feel about all of this. I don’t want my son’s mom to feel threatened in any way. It’s kind of a delicate situation. I’m not sure how much my mom told you.”

“Let’s do it this way, let’s proceed as if it’s a blank slate. I want you to start from the beginning and I’ll jot down some notes as we go. Sound good?”

“Okay,” I say hesitantly. “Like from when we first met?”

“Yes.”

I dive in and tell her the whole story from the random way we met at the wedding, me leaving town when I got called up to the MLB, our run in at the grocery store and how we’ve managed since then. As I’m talking, it sounds unbelievable, almost like a fictional tale or something.

“Well, that must have been hard on both of you,” she says, her expression sympathetic.

“You can say that again. She’s finally beginning to trust me again and I’m afraid of blowing it.”

“First off, I advise all my clients that it’s important to separate your emotions from the situation. The decisions you make will affect you and your son for many years to come. As hard as it may seem, you have to compartmentalize so to speak. Taking legal steps to secure your rights is not a punishment or being disloyal, it’s the way the world works. It actually providessecurity for everyone. If it’s spelled out then there are clear boundaries. It’s a win-win for Georgia, August and you.”

“Sounds good when you say it but that’s not how Georgia is going to see it.”

“In your position, even if you weren’t making top dollar, I’d advise you to get a custody order. It would be negligent not to.”

“But she’s going to see it like I’m betraying her… like I don’t trust her word. In her world, a handshake should be enough. It’s like I’m threatening to take her kid away. I don’t know how to convince her otherwise.”

“Have you tried to explain it to her?”

“We’ve talked but not in depth.”

“You want joint custody, am I correct on that?”

“Yes, and vacation time when I’m off-season. It will have to be piecemeal during baseball season, but from November until early February I’m wide open.”

“That sounds perfectly reasonable. Joint custody has advantages. You each get balanced time and get to be involved in raising your son. I understand you have unique circumstances. It will be a little more complicated to divide the time when you’re playing. It will require flexibility on her part.”

“Yeah, for sure. I think the biggest sticking point is going to be over vacation. We’ve already argued over that subject. According to her, it’s too soon for me to take him on a family vacation in January. Even though it’s a couple of months off, she believes it will traumatize Auggie.”

“That’s where what I said earlier comes into play. You can’t make practical decisions from a place of fear and emotion. Yes, it requires letting go of control, which can be challenging, but at some point, she’ll have to rip the band-aid off. Now maybe you can see where legal documents can be a help rather than a hindrance. Mediators will help guide you through this. My jobis to advocate for you and help negotiate custody arrangements and child support. We want the best outcome for everyone.”

“Where do we start?”

She chuckles. “We’ve already started. I think I understand your current situation, and it is unique because you haven’t known about him long enough to have established a solid relationship. Since you’ve been in August’s life what involvement have you had?”

I tell her about my interactions with August as she takes more notes.

She looks up from her keyboard frowning in concentration. “Next, we need to talk about your goals, which you’ve already mentioned, joint custody when you aren’t on the road, and larger chunks of time when you’re off-season. You’ll pay full child support. She will have to be flexible during baseball season but you do have your schedule well in advance, I’m sure.”

“Yes, I do.”

“That’s very helpful. Now what about Georgia’s current situation? Her lifestyle, living conditions, parenting style, anything you can add regarding the existing arrangements?”

“What does that have to do with anything? She’s a great provider. She lives on her parent’s property, a well-kept home, built-in babysitters, her mom and sister. She’s going to school and working to provide for our son… It’s all good.”

“Glad to hear it, but we’ll still need to gather documents like financial information, proof of paternity, and any conversations the two of you have had regarding custody and support.”

“Do I need proof? He looks exactly like me. As for conversations… far and few between. She wants to run the show, and I’ve been okay with that. But when it comes to making a formal agreement, she balks.”

“A paternity test may not be necessary since there seems to be no doubt you’re the father unless she fights it. In many cases,a paternity test is an important step in asserting your rights as his father. However, in your case, if she’s willing, she can sign a form acknowledging that you’re the father so there would be no need for a test. If she doesn’t agree to that, you won’t have automatic rights to custody or visitation.”

I hold up my hands as if fending her off. “Whoa, hold on a sec. This is what I was afraid of. It’s beginning to sound like we’re adversaries. We both want what’s best for our son. We may disagree on a few things but this legal jargon makes me nervous.”

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