Page 33 of Unforgivable

“Why?” I asked against my better judgment.

A shadow crossed Cal's face and I instantly felt bad for asking. I was surprised when he answered me, though he didn't meet my gaze.

“Let's just say things got bad with her, and we weren't the family I thought we'd be. Uncle Jack traveled for work and was barely around once I moved in, so it was mostly me and Aunt Blair. She became abusive and…” He trailed off and I didn't have the heart to ask him to elaborate. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what put that haunted look on his face, but he continued anyway.

“I tried to get help once, but no one believed me, not even Uncle Jack. It's hard to take the side of a punk kid who never did anything right over the sweet, perfect wife who took in her grieving nephew. It didn't help that there were never any visible marks, so it wasn't like I had physical proof. I gave up on the idea that things would ever get better until I left that house. UT and Lacrosse gave me the escape I needed.”

My stomach churned in protest at the thought that he'd been abused by someone who was supposed to take care of him. It was even more distressing to know he hadn't gotten help the one time he reached out for it.

“So what happened tonight?” I cautiously inquired. He was lost in thought, staring at his bottle and I wondered if he'd heard me.

“My aunt called. She tricked me using my uncle's phone because she knew I wouldn't answer her. It got ugly fast between us, like always, and I…it brought up too much in my head. And that was on top of a long, shitty week and I just felt so close to snapping,” he said, rubbing his eyes roughly.

“Sounds like that was the Mentos in your Coke bottle this week,” I replied absentmindedly, ruminating over the crazy things I'd just learned about him.

“…my what?” Cal asked, his eyes wide and unblinking.

“Oh, um…you know, like when you put a Mentos in a Coke bottle that's already been shaken up and then itpfft, explodes? It's like a science experiment that kids do sometimes and it makes a huge mess, so I was just thinking that her calling you was like the equivalent of dropping a Mentos into your Coke after you went through a rough week and it made a bigger mess for you. Aaaaand I'm gonna just…shut upnow. That concludes this episode of Rhys Nye, the Science Guy,” I rattled before chugging half of my beer and looking anywhere but at Cal.

He was quiet and unmoving, but I could feel his stare burning a hole in my cheek. “Do you always ramble like that when you're nervous?” he questioned, and I snuck a glance to see him smirking at me.

“I do not ramble…” I muttered petulantly, but even I almost rolled my eyes at the blatant lie.

“Let's put it this way, Evans. In a socially well adjusted person, there is a solid door between 'I'm thinking it' and 'I'm saying it', but you clearly kicked that door down and threw it in a woodchipper,” he snorted, digging into the chips and salsa.

“Oh, as opposed to your immaculate filter that keeps you all high and mighty?” I cranked my eyebrow up, daring him to challenge me. Cal cracked a smile at that, and seeing it made my stomach swoop dangerously.

Oh no, don't you dare, Rhys. There will be no swooping where he is concerned! You're in time-out until further notice.

“Not to be too morbid, but I'm curious about something,” he said tentatively, eyes narrowed slightly and his smile gone.

“What?” I replied nervously.

“You told me that you wanted to be a nurse because you had been in the ICU as a kid. I was wondering if that had anything to do with your parents' wreck?” His eyes were riveted to mine. I was a bit unnerved that he'd been able to piece that together, but I was beginning to think nothing about him should surprise me anymore.

“Yeah, I was in the car with them. We got hit on the driver's side and I always sat behind my dad, so I got banged up pretty bad. I was in the hospital for a few weeks and they weren't sure I'd make it for a while. Obviously I pulled through, but that was where I met Laura. She was the pediatric nurse who was assigned to me the most, and she was there when they told me and Gran about my mom and dad. I don't think I could have gotten through that without them both, but Laura became my friend. I still talk to her often,” I recalled, a smile tilting my lips as I thought of the last time I checked in with her when she had pushed me to date and get over Connor.

Fat lot of good I was doing with that, but I was a work in progress.

“That's cool that you're still in touch with her. A little weird thatyou're still close with this random nurse who’s so much older than you, but whatever floats your boat. She must be special,” he responded, giving me a curious look.

“Friends don't have to be the same age as you. It's not like that's a requirement. Honestly, people our age tend to suck and Laura's not as old as you’d think. She stuck around through some of the worst times in my life, which is more than I can say for some of the friends I used to have,” I retorted icily. Thoughts of Connor and his abandonment of me raced through my skull, and my mood plummeted. It's not like it was high after the cheery conversation we were having, but still.

“Uh oh. Seems like there's a story there…”

“Not one you're going to hear,” I deadpanned. “Also didn't you say your mom was your best friend? You also didn't comment about my Gran and I being close. That's no different than me and Laura.”

“Yeah, but my mom and your Gran are family. Laura was a stranger. How do you let someone you don't even know get close like that and keep them in your life for years?” Cal seemed genuinely confused by the sentiment and I wondered if he had ever let anyone in his life be close to him like his mom was.

“I mean, how does anyone make friends? We all start off as strangers at some point. With some people, you just click. Age and circumstance are irrelevant when you connect with someone,” I reasoned with him.

He let out a small, disbelieving scoff and drained the rest of his beer. “Friends are one thing, but I can't imagine having a connection like that with someone to the point they stick around long term. Even friends are temporary and if you really think about it, even your best friends can still be strangers at a certain point. You can only know someone so well before you hit a wall with them.”

“You don't think it's possible to have lifelong friends? Are you just waiting around for your friends to up and leave you? What about finding the person you want to marry and be with forever? They wouldn't be a stranger to you, or at least they shouldn't be,” I argued.

Cal rolled his eyes at me and leaned back in the booth before setting his gaze on me. “No, it's not like I'm waiting for my friends to leave, but I also know the odds of being friends with them forever are fucking tiny. And I've seen enough to know that love is not a forever thing. That's all dandy in romance novels or some shit, but you could be married to someone for decades and not really know them. And youand I know better than anyone that even when you love someone, it's never guaranteed they stay. They either leave by choice or by nature…and sometimes they don't really love you at all. Why would I choose to put myself through that if I can avoid it?”

His words stunned me into silence and my heart broke for him a bit. He was so cynical and jaded by everything he had lost and endured. Life had taught him that no one ever stuck around, so he'd given up hoping for it to happen. And his aunt had shown him that not even family was enough to ensure unconditional love. This conversation was much heavier than I had been prepared for tonight, but I also couldn't regret everything I had learned about him once a few of those layers were removed.

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