Page 34 of Unforgivable

I stared at him, taking in the pessimism and indifference so clear on his face, but underneath that all was true pain. I realized that Cal didn't actually believe what he was saying, but that he was scared of it. It was what he feared would happen if he let people in.

“Why live at all then? Why have friends or family or put ourselves out there? There is always a chance that people will leave us or we'll learn horrible things about them that we wish we hadn't. People die, people leave, people hurt us. That doesn't mean we stop living, or else what's the point of it all? I survived that accident and you survived your aunt for a reason. We're meant to live. And I don't know about you, but I still hold out hope that I'll find that one person who will never leave me. They'd see all the beautiful and ugly parts of me and love me enough to stay forever. Not even death would stop us. We'd just find each other again in the next life or whatever comes after.”

My confession sat heavy between us, full of hope and longing. Cal's gaze never wavered from mine and I couldn't tear myself from the intensity I saw there. Something shifted in the air around us, a crackling energy that I had first noticed in the library. It terrified and excited me in equal measure, and I wondered if he felt it too.

Slowly, I dragged my hand across the table and covered his with mine. I saw the rough swallow that bobbed his Adam's apple, and I couldn't help but stare at it. I felt Cal's thumb swipe across mine gently, goosebumps rippling up my arm from the contact. I slid my eyes back up to meet his and saw he had leaned across the table toward me.

As if being pulled by an invisible rope, I mirrored the movement and leaned in as well. Though there were still inches separating us, I was close enough to see the light sweat beading across his forehead, thefaint white scar that slashed his left eyebrow, and the barely there stubble along his jaw.

“Do you really believe that can happen? Finding someone to love you that…infinitely?” Cal asked in a low hum. I felt his breath fan my face with his question, and I wondered what he would taste like.

His eyes lured me in. Two different colors for his two different natures. Which color was the real him? Was he the cold ice of his blue eye, or was he the inviting warmth of his green one? Would I drown in the depths of that one ocean, or would I be drawn into the warm meadow of that green? I was mesmerized and felt my pulse pounding underneath my skin.

“Yes. I really believe that,” I answered honestly. I don't know what I expected from him, but I saw the second his eyes shuttered and our tether was severed.

“Then you are exactly as naive and gullible as I always thought you were,” he said nonchalantly, yanking his hand out of mine and pulling out his wallet. “It's a shame, really. It's not often I'm wrong, and I almost thought you'd surprise me for a minute there, but oh well.”

Every ounce of sympathy and warmth I had garnered for him tonight faded into disappointment and disgust.

“You are a seriously sick asshole, you know that?” I bit out.

“Ah ah, another dollar for the swear jar,” he tsked, not bothering to look at me as he threw money down on the table for the food. I grabbed my phone and stood, intending to get as far away from him as I could before he could do more damage to my sanity.

As I slid out of the booth, he grabbed my wrist before I could retreat. “Let go,” I warned.

“For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about your parents, Rhys. No one deserves to go through that,” Cal said sympathetically.

“But I deserved to be bullied and cornered in locker rooms?” I snipped, unable to help myself. The glare he shot me was frigid.

“Don't mistake tonight for more than it was, Sweetness. We got some shit off our chests and you bought yourself some respect from me, but you still fucked with my life with your complaint. You know enough about my life outside of UT now to understand that I'm fucking screwed if I lose my scholarship and go back to that place, which I will if you don't fix this with my Coach,” he growled.

Nausea bit at me from the implication in his words because now Idid somewhat know what he'd be subjected to at his aunt's house. However, irritation and embarrassment chose my words for me.

“I guess you should have thought about that before deciding to be a duplicitous jerk. It's not my fault you got all drunk and handsy with Kappa Gamma Barbie before throwing me around like a brute.”

He stood up fast and crowded me back into the booth a bit, the glint in his eye feral. “I didn't do shit to her, and you can get off your goddamn high horse judging me. I thought this stupid bonding sesh of ours might actually get you to see reason, but I guess we'll have to go back to the hard way.”

Cal grabbed my jaw and crooked my head to the side, bringing his mouth next to my ear. He traced it lightly with his tongue and my knees nearly buckled at the unexpected touch.

“Then again, I remember you liked it a little too much. Next time? I'll have you on your knees where you belong,” he threatened in a raspy whisper before biting down on my earlobe, eliciting an involuntary whimper from me.

He stepped back and shot me a cocky smirk. “See you around, Sweetness. Thanks for the talk.”

I watched him stride out of the restaurant quickly, and I sank back into the booth, my legs giving out under the sheer weight of everything that had transpired tonight. I was beginning to think I was both right and wrong about there being more to Callum.

The trauma he faced ran deep and colored all his actions. He had needlessly suffered and it created an unquenchable rage and contempt for the world. He might have once been capable of profound love and friendship, but I wasn't sure that man existed anymore. He was nothing but bitterness and pain cloaked in layers of anger. In spite of that unfortunate truth, there was another one that was even more twisted and harder to face.

No matter what he had done to me or threatened me with, there was a part of me that was still inexplicably drawn to him, especially after tonight. He was as messed up and imperfect of a human being as you could get…and I still wanted him more than anything.

But he wasn't mine to have.

10

RHYS

“Rhys, I swear to Sephora, if you don't get your hot little tush out here in one minute, I am going to douse your room in Axe body spray and turn all your jeans into cutoffs!” Fin yelled from the living room.

His ridiculous threat did nothing to keep me from dragging my feet to get ready. Why I had let him talk me into going to a haunted house was beyond me. I had absolutely no interest in being scared crapless by a bunch of jocks dressed in heinous makeup who were there solely to terrorize the masses. Austin's infamous House of Torment had a charity offshoot that the athletic department decided to set up this year, which meant that all the cast and crew of the nightmare factory were in fact UT athletes.

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