Page 92 of Tormented Kings

“Okay,” he says softly.

Once we’re both cleaned up and ready for bed, Declan holds me so tight I can feel the hurt coming off him in waves.

Whatever is going on with Preston, he needs to deal with it before he drags everyone down with him. There’s making the best out of what you’re given or letting it tear you down. I never thought of him as being a coward. But that's what it’s looking like.

Chapter 20

Declan

I’ve spent the last few days wallowing in my own self-pity, unable to get over everything that happened on Halloween night.

He kissed me, told me he wanted me, then kissed me again. But the moment his lips left mine, he looked at me in horror. Everything inside me died as he backed away, saying it was a mistake.

It sure as hell didn’t feel like a mistake. It was life-altering, the same experience as my first kiss with Sadie.

Everything inside me exploded. I was done, so fucking done with his bullshit, the push and pull. I could get it if he wanted me, but thought he couldn’t have me. A normal person would stay away. Not confess all the dirty fucked up things they wanted to do to me, kiss me so deeply it’s seared into my soul, then take it all back in a matter of seconds.

Yes, he was drunk, but the emotions were there, and the connection was electric.

So, I went after him and snapped. I’ve never been a violent person, never had the urge to be. But in that moment, I took all my anger out on Preston.

And the worst part? He laid there and took it. He let me pound my fists into his face over and over again and did nothing.

It made me feel like shit once I calmed down because the more I thought about it, the more I realized it must be hard for him—being controlled by a monster and forced to be engaged to a horrible person. All while trying to come to terms with your sexuality.

I’ve known I was into men and women for as long as I can remember. It’s not new to me, and when I developed those feelings for Preston, it didn’t scare me because I liked a man, it scared me because the man I liked would never like me back. Only he does, and I’m so fucked up about it I don’t know what to do.

I want to talk to Sadie about it. I probably should. But she has so much going on right now.

Sadie doesn’t want to hide; she hates having to act like we’re nothing more than friends. She deserves better, and I’m going to give her that.

I might not be able to be with the man I like, but I have the woman of my dreams, and I’m going to do my best to give her the whole fucking world if it’s in my power.

Starting with finally breaking my engagement off with Mia. First, I need to sit down and talk to my parents about it. I’m not sure how they’re going to take it. We’re not exactly close. But they’re good parents for the most part. They never hit me, never talked down to me.

Probably because they were hardly home to do so. But unlike a lot of people in our world, my parents have told me from time to time they love me. So I know they care.

Let’s hope they care enough about me to not lose their minds with me taking control of my own life and making my own choices.

Stepping into my father’s study, I find him at his desk with his head down as he types on his computer, my mother sitting on the couch across from him, sipping her tea as she reads a book.

A wave of nerves flutters through me as I step inside. “Hey,” I say, clearing my throat. Both of them look up at me with curious eyes. “Declan, honey,” Mom says, placing her book and tea down. “I didn’t know you were stopping by today.”

“If we’d known, I would have had Chef make an extra plate,” Dad adds, closing his laptop. I smile, his words sounding a lot more welcoming than I expected.

“It’s okay.” I push my glasses up my nose. “I’m not staying long. I just wanted to stop by and see if you two had time to talk.”

“Talk?” Mom’s brows furrow. “About what?”

Alright, Declan, rip the bandaid off.

If I try to ease them into it, talking around the subject, I’m just going to end up chickening out.

Taking a deep breath, I let everything that’s on my mind out. “I’m breaking my engagement off with Mia. As lovely a girl as she is, she’s not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I believe we both deserve the chance to be with people we love and to be happy. We might have had a nice life together, but we would have never been truly happy. Life is short, and we only get one to live. I’d rather spend it with someone I love and who loves me back. Someone to enjoy everything life has to offer and stand by my side. So, yeah, I’m ending things with Mia.”

I take in a breath, winded by getting everything out in one go. My heart thumps wildly as I flick my eyes between the two of them.

“I–I don’t know what to say,” Mom says, sitting back against the couch. “What brought this on?”

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