Page 72 of A Sinner's Saint

“You know what’s hard? Waking up and finding yourself, your own hands, choking the life out of the woman you love. That’s fucking hard. Seeing that same woman on the ground without a fucking heartbeat pounding in her chest,” I tell her. “I can live with you hating me, Cammi, but you need to be alive to do that. I can’t live if you’re not.”

“And I can’t dothis, Vin,” she says. “I need you to go. I can’t…” She shakes her head while tears drop down her cheeks.

“I can’t leave until I know what’s wrong with your heart and how to fix it,” I explain.

“I know what’s wrong with my heart. You broke it.” Her words send a dagger through my own chest.

“I’m sorry.” I drop my head, leaning it on the edge of the mattress as I sit in the chair next to her bed.

“Me too,” she whispers back.

“Cammi? You doing okay?” Elena’s voice is followed by the sound of her rushed footsteps.

I don’t bother looking up. I can’t face anyone right now. I just need to know that Cammi is going to be okay, that whatever is wrong with her heart can be fixed.

“I’m fine. Everyone is overreacting,” Cammi says.

“Why ishehere? This ishisfault.”

The implication has my head snapping up and my glare aiming in Elena’s direction.

“Elena, stop,” Cammi hisses from beside me.

“Why? It’s his fault. You were fine until you saw him, Cammi,” Elena argues.

“What is she talking about?” I ask, looking from Cammi to Elena and back again.

“Nothing,” Cammi says. “Elena, I have to stay here tonight. Can you get me some supplies? And where’s my phone? I need to text my mum.”

I pick up Cammi’s bag and dig through the contents until I find her phone and hand it to her. The girls continue to talk and I tune out whatever it is they’re saying, waiting for Elena to leave. When she finally does, I turn to Cammi. “Is it my fault?”

“Is what your fault?” she asks me.

“Your heart stopping?”

“Vin, I know all you De Bellis men think the world revolves around you, but my heart stopping has nothing to do with you. So, no, it’s not your fault.”

I can tell there’s something she’s not saying. I really don’t have a right to continue to question her about it, though. “Why don’t you rest?” I tell her.

“When was the last time you slept?” she asks me. “Not just for an hour here or there, like really slept?”

“France.”

Cammi blinks. I don’t think she was expecting that answer. “Put your head down here. Sleep, Vin.”

“You’re the one in the hospital and you’re worried about me sleeping? Fucking saint,” I tell her. I have no intention of sleeping anywhere near her. I never want to wake up with my hands on her again.

“Just rest your head. Close your eyes with me,” she offers.

“I can’t. I’m scared,” I admit quietly.

“I know,” she says.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Ican’t believe it happened again. I thought for sure it was going to be a onetime thing—my heart stopping. It’s scary. Although I put on a brave face and pretend that I’m fine, I’m not. I have no idea why my heart is giving out on me.

That’s not true. The only common factor is Vin. Did he really break my heart to the point of making it stop beating altogether?

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