Page 43 of Locke

“Then get better, Locke. Stop doing all this shit to hurt yourself.”

Chapter 22

Locke

Trash.

Piece of shit.

Scum.

Bastard.

Those are just a few names that run through my head right now. I’m worthless. I fucked up with her. I knew it the second I was inside her. I knew I was wrong, but the drugs were telling me I was right.

And now she’s gone. She left me. She left the club. I figured she would tell Gunner what happened, but it doesn’t seem that way. At least not yet.

I sit in the back of the room, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette, wondering how the hell this got so out of hand. I don’t fucking know anymore. I just know if I don’t get my shit together, Kiki may never come back, and that’s on me. I can’t stand the thought of her not being here. I can’t stand the thought of Gunner losing her once again.

I’m lost in myself when Remy walks over and sits down next to me.

“Gunner’s talkin’ about sendin’ some of us out to New York,” he says.

“Not me.” He chuckles until I shake my head and look over at him. I’m not joking right now. My head is not in the best place to be sent out like that.

“What’s with you lately? You high?”

“Somethin’ like that,” I tell him as I bring my beer to my lips and take a long pull.

“Didn’t think you were into that.”

“Things change, yeah?”

“What changed, brother? This isn’t you, Locke.” Maybe this is me. Maybe this is who I was meant to be. I shrug my shoulders when I hear Hodge.

“Get up!”

“Fuck off,” I grumble. In seconds, I’m being yanked to my feet. His fist lands in my stomach, and my beer falls from my hands. I don’t fight him back. Why should I?

“Fuck off? After what you did?” Hodge roars before slamming his fist into my face. Still, I take it. I deserve what I get.

“What the hell is this?” I hear Gunner as Hodge pulls back, ready for another one. Gunner steps in between us, shoving Hodge back a step. “I said, what the hell is goin’ on?” he asks, looking between us. I don’t say shit. I stand with blood dripping down my lip, but I don’t say a word. I can’t. I can’t fuck this up too.

“Ask your VP! Ask him where Kiki is,” Hodge yells. Now we’ve drawn a crowd. The guys circle us, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

“Where’s Kiki?” Gunner asks before looking between us once more.

“She’s with her mom,” Hodge tells him.

“She hates her mom,” Gunner adds.

“No shit. She called Tina to let her know where she was. The prospect saw her leave and tried to stop her. She had marks around her neck.” Now Gunner’s eyes shoot to mine and narrow.

“You usin’, Locke?”

“It’s fucked up, Gunner. I’m fucked up!”

“Are you fuckin’ usin’?” I can’t answer him, so I nod my head. Gunner runs his hand through his hair before he looks back to Hodge for a brief second.

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