Page 52 of I Won't Be In On Monday

“I just—I don’t know, like when he called me and told me I had to work on Friday, he sounded funny. And then he kind of brought up the spanking thing again. And I was like, why are you bringing this up? And he’s like, you don’t really want to know, you can’t handle it. I mean, he didn’t use those exact words, but that is sort of how I felt. And now I’m like, is he just teasing me, or…” I pause. How do I tell her that I wasn't sure if he'd been jerking off while on the phone with me?

“Or what?” she says. “Do you think he wants you?”

“No. He definitely doesn’t want me. I know he doesn’t want me like that. He is my boss. He has always been extremely appropriate. He has never crossed the line, not once.” At least not in the past. We've definitely crossed the line more recently.

“That's because Remington doesn’t shit where he eats.” She grins. “Kingston says that all the time. He won’t even hire assistants if he thinks they are flirting with him. He thinks it is extremely unprofessional to date someone who works for you.”

“So, you see, it’s obvious that he doesn’t want me. That would go against his rules.”

“But girl, rules are made to be broken.” She stares at me. “He is a man. And men think with their heads. And most of the time it’s not with the big one.” I blink at her, and she giggles. “You know what I’m saying, big head, small head.” She makes a small o and then a big o with her hands. “Big head, small head.”

“I know what you are saying, but really?” I giggle.

“What? Don't be a prude.”

“I’m not a prude. Trust me. Who knows what is going to happen on Sunday night with Marco.”

“You’re going to get to first base or maybe third.”

“I’m not in high school,” I say. “I wouldn’t mind a good make-out session. I have not made out with a guy in ages. And Marco does look like he has very luscious lips.” I pretend that I want to kiss Marco, when really, all I want is Remington and his very full lips all over me.

“You would make out with him?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. I thought because you were a virgin, perhaps you were not interested in doing stuff with guys.”

“I said I’d make out with him, not get down on my knees.” I giggle.

“True. You’d only get down on your knees for Remington Parker.”

“Not! What are you saying?” My jaw drops. “There is no way.”

“Yeah, there is. Picture it, you are in the office late one night. You have a bottle of wine. He takes off his tie. Calls you in to do some dictation.” She winks at me. I just roll my eyes in response. “Next thing you know, you drop your pen next to the desk, and he bends down and is like, ‘I’ll get it.’ And then you get down on your knees, and you both grab for the pen at the same time. You look up at him and realize that your head is between his legs.And he gives you this deep, intense look. And you just go for it.” She winks at me.

“Um, I think you need to stop reading steamy romance books, girl. Because that is never going to happen,” I say, laughing out loud. “But hey, maybe you can reenact that one day with Kingston.”

“Girl, I’m not even going to tell you the things that we’ve gotten up to in his office. I don’t want you to look at me differently.”

“Whoa, well, now you have to tell me.”

“Let’s just say that there is more than one position that allows you to make love on a desk.”

“What?” I stare at her. “What do you mean?

“I may have experienced five different positions on his desk. But I’m going to be a lady and not say any more about that.”

“You are crazy.” I stare at her in shock.

“No, but I do like to have fun. And it turns out he loves to have fun, too.”

“I should get back to my desk. I have so much to do for this upcoming court case that Remington has starting next month. I just don’t know if it is even worth us going to court. I feel like the client is so guilty and is going to lose so much money.”

“Girl, we make our money from going to court. They don’t care if they are going to lose. Billables, baby.”

“True, but I just feel like it’s so clear cut. Like just take the settlement offer.”

She shrugs. “It’s not our business to make those decisions. We just type up the notes.”

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