Page 134 of As the World Falls

“Uh, you kissed me, Lance. Against my will. That wasn’t cool.”

He exhales sharply, looking back at the book pile on the floor before him. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m… I’m sorry.”

My arms instinctively wrapped around me like a protective blanket. I felt exposed just talking about this with him, and I hated how that felt. “I appreciate that,” I told him. He wasn’texactly forgiven. I would need more time to regain trust in him, but I can always appreciate a genuine apology.

“Your boyfriend didn’t have to sucker punch me though. That was a real dick move.”

“You disrespected me and, in turn, disrespected him. I obviously don’t condone violence, but you asked for it.”

He scoffs in disgust, shaking his head. “You’re defending him more and more. Like a little trained mutt.”

“Excuse me?” I balk, standing now. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He cuts another glare at me as he follows, his expression hard and unlike anything I’ve ever seen on him before. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked paler than usual. I wondered if he’d been losing sleep over this. I know I have.

“It means you’re an idiot, Lia. That guy has been using you and brainwashing you since the minute he met you.”

I shake my head. “You’re delusional. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really? Last I checked, you didn’t like the guy, and you were worried about your brother even being involved with him, and then suddenly, you’re in love with him and staying at his house.”

“Things change. I?—”

“Things don’t just change that drastically. He’s got you under his thumb, and because you already come from a messed up family, you think being used is a form of love.”

I step back, shocked at his low blow. “Wow. I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Well, someone needed to. It’s the truth.”

Hurt floods my veins, making my body want to shake with the feeling, but I steel myself against him, keeping my chin up like James has always taught me. “Have you always thought of me that way? Like some fucked up charity case. Have you always thought less of me?”

He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head before looking at me again. “Wait. No. You’re not…I don’t think less of you. I just think that you don’t know what’s real or not because of your naivety when it comes to love.”

I laugh in disbelief. “You know what, Lance? I may not have grown up with your perfect conventional kind of family, but I know what love is, and it’s not perfect. And what I had from my father and continue to get from my brother and James is real. If you can’t accept that or believe that, then…I don’t know what kind of friendship we can have.”

His eyes stayed locked with mine, his disappointment evident in the look on his face. God, I hated the way he was looking at me. I never wanted to smack the look off of someone’s face until right now. I really, really hated judgment, which felt like karma for how hard I judged James in the beginning. This whole thing really sucked.

“I guess we don’t have one anymore then,” he responds flatly. He tears his gaze away and drops back to the floor, continuing to organize the books.

I finally walk away and go back to my desk. I sit almost mechanically, folding my hands in front of my face and leaning against them. I shut my eyes and breathe deeply, trying to relax my racing nerves.

The last thing I expected today was to be insulted by Lance and our friendship be declared over. I didn’t want to believe it. I mean… friends fight... right? This wasn’t over.

Or was it?

I find myself wondering if a friendship is something we could even get back to after all of the hurtful things he just said. He’d never be okay with James and would always be judgmental of Tobias. And apparently, he thinks I’m an idiot who knows nothing about love.

A sickening feeling in my stomach resolves me to the fact that… maybe I didn’t want to be friends with someone like that.

When I got home, there was no sign of James anywhere. I assumed he was still busy working, and I sighed in disappointment. I was anxious and needed to do something to keep my mind from straying back to the horrible day I had at work.

I decide to go to the kitchen and make myself useful. An hour later, I have dinner on the stove and hear the front door open. Arms wrap around me, and I smile, settling into James’s embrace.

“You realize I pay very good money for a very good chef to cook dinner?” he murmurs beside my ear.

“Yes, well, I wanted to cook for you tonight.”

He nips at my ear, “But the point of having my chef cook for us is so that we have time to do other things.”

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