Page 133 of As the World Falls

“I don’t know,” he relents, his jaw clenching. “I just…don’t want anything to ruin this. I’ve had you all to myself lately.Life has to resume back to normal and…I’m scared of how we’ll adapt.”

I stand from my seat and move to his, sitting on his lap. He wraps his arms around me, his fists clenching my sweater dress hard. I wrap my arms around his neck, looking down at him. “I don’t know how things will go in the future. Things will probably be hard, but the point of it all is that I don’t want it to be hard with anyone else. You’re my safe haven, and I’ll always come home to you.”

He smirks. “Even if I’m being bad?”

I laugh. “Especially when you’re bad.” My fingers grip the collar of his white dress shirt, flipping it in my fingers. “I’ve always kind of secretly liked when you were bad.”

His hands hold my waist now even tighter. “Oh yeah? Tell me more.”

Excitement bubbles in my stomach as I grin down at him. “Like when you lied straight to my face about why there was blood on yours. You know, you never did tell me why it was there. I mean, you weren’t telling the truth about the whole interrogating a guy thing, right?”

“Some things are better left to the imagination.”

“Hmm. So, you did slay a beast, then?”

He bursts out in laughter. “In other words.” I decided to leave it at that because some things were better left unsaid.

“Very sexy,” I coo, kissing him on his cheek and then the other, holding his tie as leverage.

He tilts his head, his fiery eyes locked onto mine. “Are you trying to go to work with your dress inside out?” he asks, his fingers fiddling with its hem like he’s barely restraining himself from lifting it.

It’s like a heat hotter than the sun melts over my skin at his words. “I wish,” I groan. “But I don’t have time. I have to leave like…right now.”

He sighs unenthusiastically and lifts me from his lap so we can both stand. “Miss Bowen,” Marco calls out from the patio doors, “If you’re ready, I can drive you to work now.”

“Oh…right. Yes,” I glare back at James. “I guess I’m ready.”

“Have a good day.” He takes my hand and yanks me to him, kissing me savagely and making my knees weak. He grins purposefully as I thin my eyes at him, reluctantly walking away.

When I get to the library, it’s pretty busy. Now that it’s fall, we usually get more business because, duh, it’s perfect reading weather. I could use the distraction today, so I didn’t mind.

Half of the day goes by in an excruciating blur. I keep myself busy with work, and I’m on a roll by the time lunch rolls around, so I don’t even notice Lance showing up for work until he bolts past my desk and into the back office to drop off his things.

I stay where I’m at, looking over my shoulder to steal a glance at him. Being uncomfortable around one of the only people I thought I never had to worry about didn't feel right. I wanted things to go back to when we could be happy with only our friendship.

The office door flies open, and I distract myself by drinking my coffee, staring into my mug as he flies past me without a word. I glance over to Marco, standing near the library's entry doors, less than thirty feet from my desk. His stoic gaze follows Lance all the way to the back of the library, where he disappears.

I stressfully force two mini York peppermint patties into my mouth and chew anxiously.

I battle with the idea of going and talking to him. James would be furious, but how could I sit here and not speak to someone I’ve talked to nearly every day for the last ten years? Surely, there was something in this friendship worth saving. We’d been platonic for a bigger part of our relationship, and I couldn’t fathom that after all those years of it, it would be thrown away because now I couldn’t return his feelings.

But then there was his forceful kiss. I’d only felt disgust like that rolled through me once before, and that was when that horrible man was touching me against my will and holding me hostage at the restaurant. The fact that Lance overpowered me and was capable of making me feel that way…I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to look at him the same way again or if I’d ever feel entirely comfortable around him.

What I do know, though, is that he and I can’t ignore each other forever, so…I rise from my desk and walk toward the back of the library, where Lance wandered off. There was no way I was getting through the rest of our shift without speaking.

I find him in his sci-fi aisle, where he seems more relaxed. He’s crouched on the floor, taking his time rearranging all the books on the shelves—something that did not need to be done, but he was doing anyway.

“Hey,” I say gently, crouching on the floor beside him.

He doesn’t look at me, his cold gaze remaining on the books in front of him. “Hi.”

“How are you? We haven’t spoken in a few days.”

“Whose fault is that?” he mumbles.

“Lance, please. Can we be civil about all of this? You’re not totally innocent, either.”

He glares at me. “Are you serious? What did I ever do to you except give you my undivided love and attention and wait around like a fool.”

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