Page 135 of As the World Falls

I jumped, and my stomach dipped at the contact. “I’m good for other things, you know.”

“I do not doubt that. What are you making?” He stands beside me now, his hand never straying from my waist. His tie is hanging loosely around his neck, and his hair isn’t as neat as it was this morning. He looks disheveled, and my first thought is to ask how his day is. But then he looks over to me, his eyes locking on mine, and he smiles, and I lose all logic. He was just so handsome, no matter what state he was in.

“I’m uh… making pesto mozzarella grilled cheese sandwiches.”

One of his eyebrows pops up in curiosity. “Grilled cheese?”

“With basil pesto. It’s really good.”

He nods skeptically, picking up his chef's meal plan on the counter for the week. “Ahh, beef Wellington with baby potatoes. I can see why you’d prefer grilled cheese over such a bland dish as beef Wellington.”

I playfully shove him. “It’s going to be good.

He pulls me to his chest and kisses my nose, a gesture he’s never made before. For some reason, it fills me with so much emotion that I have to forcibly keep myself from crying and holding onto him tightly. “I’m teasing you. I’m sure it’ll be perfect. How was your day today?”

“It…could have been better. I talked to Lance,” I tell him hesitantly.

He sharply exhales through his nose. “Did you now?”

“Yes, and it didn’t go well. He pretty much said our friendship was over.”

“Sounds like it went well to me.”

I sigh. “James…”

“Fine,” he grumbles. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t prefer it this way, but I am sorry that it’s causing you pain. I never want that for you.”

“I know it just really sucks. We’ve been friends since I was a teenager. I never thought it’d end like this.”

“Yes, well, he has been more aggressive than even I pegged him for. It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, I suppose.”

“I know you’re right, but it still sucks. I just…” I swallow the knot in my throat and blink away the sudden onset of tears. “I feel like I’m slowly losing everyone, one by one, and it’s making me anxious. I try to keep a brave face after losing my dad because I didn’t have much of him, to begin with, but it still hurts, and now Lance…I can’t lose any more people,” I cry.

I feel arms wrap around me, squeezing me tightly in a way that eases the pain in my chest. “There’s no time limit or pain limit on losing a parent,” James says. “Your dad was important to you. Whatever you feel is valid. I barely knew my father, and I still feel his loss. It’s in everything that I do. I can’t pretend to relate or grieve your friendship with Lance, but I’ll take yourpain and hold it so it’s not as heavy. Lean on me. I’m not going anywhere.”

I nod and rub my cheek against his chest. “You can lean on me too, you know. If your pain ever gets to be too much.”

He grazes my cheek with his thumb, looking down at me so softly that I wonder how I ever thought he was so cold. “I appreciate that, babe. Is there anything I can do for you right now? You look very sad, and I’m not a fan of it,” he says in a lighter tone, bringing a smile to my face.

I swallowed down my pain that I didn’t want to put a damper on our evening. “You can eat my dinner,” I say, turning back to the stove and flipping the sandwich onto a small plate for him.

He eyes it skeptically and takes the plate, sitting on the island with it in front of him. He looks around as if looking for silverware, and then his forehead crinkles. He looks back at the sandwich and picks it up with his hands. I laugh as I watch him take a hesitant bite and slowly chew.

“Well?” I ask impatiently.

“It’s not bad,” he says honestly, looking up at me with nervous eyes. “Will you be cooking tomorrow?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “No, you can have your precious fancy food made by your fancy chef tomorrow.”

“We’ll compromise. Two nights a week, you can cook. How does that sound?”

“Sounds fair,” I agree, sitting beside him with my plate.

He looks at me seriously now, his hand finding mine and holding it. “I do like it, babe. It’s just been a terribly long time since I’ve strayed out of my comfort zone with…anything in my life. I plan on doing it more now that I have you, but please…be patient with me.”

I lean in, kissing him gently. “Of course. Patient is my middle name.”

Chapter Forty

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