Page 62 of Our Final Encore

“Uh, not really.” I hadn’t even considered the fact that I’m going to have to explain this whole situation to my father before too long. I have no idea what kind of reaction to expect from him.

“What’s going on?”

“Opal is pregnant.”

I’m met with silence on the other end of the line. He knows the saga of Opal and I’s relationship better than most. For months he listened to my drunken tangents about how badly I fucked up, until he finally told me I needed to move on and stop throwing a pity party.

“Damn. I’m sorry, dude… but it’s been a long time, it was bound to happen.”

I let out a long sigh. My thoughts are so disorganized. “By me. She’s pregnant by me.”

“Wait, what? Really?”

“Yes.”

“Is that…a good thing?” His voice is hesitant.

“Well, right now it doesn’t seem like she has any interest in fixing our relationship, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Huh.” He’s silent for a few seconds. This is what I appreciate most about Dax, he isn’t like most people, he takes the time to think before he speaks, and he doesn’t involve himself in other people’s business unless he’s asked to be. “How do you feel about it?”

“About getting back together?”

“Mhm.”

“I want to.” My answer comes instantly, without thought. Knowing that she isn’t with that dude anymore, of course I’d want to get her back regardless. But knowing she’s carrying my child changes everything, I have to figure out a way to make it work. “More than anything. I just don’t know what to do.”

“My advice? Don’t push her. Show her that you’ve changed. If it’s meant to work out then it will.”

“Yeah…” I stare up at the ceiling of my childhood bedroom, feeling about as hopeless as I did the first day I moved in here.

“And don’t drink.”

I roll my eyes. “Wasn’t planning on it.” Another reason I look up to Dax so much is that he’s sober, unlike most of the musicians I‘ve worked with. He has been for almost ten years now.

“It’ll work out. Call me if you need me.”

“Thanks,” I’m not convinced at all, but I know there’s nothing more he can say or do to change it. “Talk to you later, man.”

I disconnect the call, tossing my phone onto my side table. Everything about my life has changed in the span of an hour. I’m going to be afather.Something I never truly imagined I would be.

It’s not like I never considered the possibility of having a family with Opal. I knew it was what she wanted, and I knew I’deventually make it happen, had we stayed together… but I never took the time to really picture it.

My own example of what a father looks like isn’t what I’d hope to replicate, but I really don’t have any other frame of reference. My family is so far removed from the norm that I hardly feel like I can call it a family.

Memories of my brother flick through my mind like a slideshow in sepia tone.

Playing catch together on a sunny day in the backyard. The two of us baking cookies with mom on Christmas Eve. A distant memory of all four of us on a family road trip to some unknown destination.

It feels like a completely different lifetime, one that I never lived, but rather just dreamed about. Remembering is painful, it’s always been easier for me to forget.

Sighing, I stuff my phone in my pocket along with my keys and head towards my van. I may not have any fucking clue what I’m doing, but I do know one thing, I have to prove to Opal I’m not who I used to be. And that means I have to grow up. Fast.

FORTY-ONE

Opal

“Morning,” I say to no one in particular as I walk through the door, the overwhelming scent of vanilla hitting my senses immediately.

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