Page 63 of Our Final Encore

“Hi,” Jessica doesn’t look up from what she’s doing to address me.

I sit down at my desk and wait as my computer slowly comes to life. Monday mornings are always hectic, and today’s no different. There’s a ton of unfamiliar papers on my desk waiting for me to attend to them.

The phone starts to ring and a wave of nausea hits me at the exact same time. I slide my eyes over to Jessica to see that she’s fully focused on icing the cake in front of her. I hate answering the phone, but I know she won’t be happy if I let it keep ringing.

“Hello?”

The person on the other end of the line states why they’re calling and I try my best to write it down, but my nausea suddenly overwhelms me.

“Um, can I put you on hold for a moment?” I don’t wait for them to answer before slamming the phone onto the receiver and sprinting to the bathroom at the other side of the store. I get there just in time, thank goodness.

I was not prepared for this. I mean, obviously I wasn’t prepared to be pregnant at all, but why don’t people talk more about how terrible morning sickness is? Maisie tells me she never even had any, lucky bitch.

After splashing a bit of water on my face, I walk back out into the lobby.

“Any particular reason you just hung up on that customer?” Jessica shoots me an irritated glare.

“Sorry. I wasn’t feeling well, I needed to use the restroom.” I don’t know much about pregnancy, but I do know that you shouldn’t tell your employer about it right away. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose this job. Unfortunately there aren’t many jobs to go around in Willow Grove.

“Are you sick? You shouldn’t be here if you’re sick.”

“Uh, well no,” I stutter, not knowing how to properly respond.

She actually looks halfway sympathetic for once. “Why don’t you go home and get some rest?”

I need the hours, but I know that I’m probably not going to get much work done today even if I do stay because I feel truly awful. “Okay,” I relent. “Thanks, Jessica. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

She nods, looking somewhat unconvinced but also not that worried about it. Worry gnaws at my brain, and I wonder if I should’ve just stayed. Is she going to fire me?

Fuuuuck.

Babies are expensive, and without ever finishing a college degree my career choices are limited. About a year after I finished high school I took a few online classes, but my determination and excitement to get a degree had pretty muchvanished by that point, and part of me felt completely lost as to what I wanted to study anyway. So I put my education on the backburner, and that’s where it’s stayed ever since.

I open my car door, slipping inside and resting my head against the hot steering wheel.What the hell am I doing with my life?

On my way home, I make up my mind that it’s time to tell Mamaw what’s going on. I’ve only known for two days, but I can’t keep hiding it from her, and honestly I don’t want to. She’s probably not going to be happy about it, at all, but she’s the person I’m closest to in this world. She always knows how to calm me down when my mind is feelingthe way it is right now.

I gulp as I walk through the door. She’s sitting on the couch, reading a book that appears to be a military romance, judging by the muscular man in uniform on the front cover. I almost feel guilty for interrupting her.

“You’re home already?” She looks up at me quizzically.

“Mhm,” I hum, not meeting her eyes. My heart is beating a mile a minute and my palms are sweaty. I sit down on the chair across from her, trying to decide how best to approach this conversation, but my mind is blank.

“You okay, darlin’?”

“Mamaw, I’m pregnant.” I blurt it out, and her eyes fly open and drop down to my stomach. I brace myself for the Texas style tongue lashing I’m about to receive, but she remains stunned into silence, which only makes me more anxious.

“I know it isn’t the best time, but…is it ever?” I bite my lip. I think I’m trying to sound mature or wise, but it isn’t working.

She shakes her head, her mouth curving into a smile. “I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever have a great-grandbaby.”

I squint my eyes slightly. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad?” She scoffs. “Girl, I'm too old to be gettin’ mad about these things. I’m just happy I’ll get to love on another baby before I’m dead and gone.”

I can’t help but smile. “Don’t say that. You still have plenty of years left.”

“Nevermind that.” She rolls her eyes.

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