Page 14 of Burning for the Truth

“Well, I’m glad you’re fine with it, but I’m not. She’s hiding out from everyone and everything,” he counters as his lips press together in frustration or anger, I’m not certain which.

“Yeah, but we all deal with things, especially grief, in our own way. You need to let her process it. She already hates me, man. You push her too hard and she’ll for sure never speak to me again.” My shoulders slump with the admission.

Sterling stops in his tracks. “Man, you’ve got to quit saying she hates you. She doesn’t. I don’t know how to break through to her, but she could never hate you.”

“Whatever you say. I’m just telling you not to push her to talk to me or see me if she doesn’t want to, that’s all. So, who did you invite to this little celebration tonight?” I ask cautiously trying to steer the conversation from Bree.

“People.” He avoids answering directly.

“People? What does that mean?” I ask, now feeling my own apprehension skyrocket.

He turns to face me from the bonfire we’re preparing. It’s spring here, but the nights get chilly. Apparently, Sterling ordered enough pizza to feed an army and thought everyone could hang by the fire tonight and catch up.

This is insane but I haven’t gone near fire since the night the world changed for us all. The last few months I’ve been in intense physical therapy and seeing a therapist to sort out my trauma and helping where I could on the case. All that is about to change since I’ve been released back to active duty.

As the evening continues, familiar faces greet me with hugs and congratulations, but the one face I want to see is missing. And she’ll stay that way…absent from my life, but always present in my mind. I’ve accepted it. I don’t like it, but if she needs someone to blame, somewhere to place her anger, I’ll be that for her. I’m still angry with myself.

We all eat on the patio at Sterling and Ivie’s house. His parents are here; mine too. Chief Trudeau, Chief Holden, Alex and Slade from B shift, and several other guys from both departments along with Serena, Jake Boyd, his wife, Zoey, and their two-year-old daughter, Lylah, came, as well as his dad, Dr. Boyd. He took great care of me in the hospital. Jake played ball with Sterling and me growing up.

The door from the house leading to the patio where we’re all sitting opens, and for a moment hope springs to life as I wait for Briella to step out. But I’m rewarded with more disappointment as Chelsea, the nurse who took care of me, walks out instead.

Her eyes sparkle in the lights draped across the patio. She searches the guests until her gaze lands on me. She instantly beams her best smile in my direction. Chelsea is a sweet girl, but she’s got more on her mind than friendship. I’m dealing with too much to drag someone so genuinely kind into my own personal hell. But still, I return her smile, hoping I’m not leading her on by doing so.

I guess that’s what Sterling meant when he said “people” earlier. He’s not only been pushing Briella to talk to me, but he’s been insisting I ask Chelsea out on a date.

While it might have been something I would’ve done before Drew was killed, it’s not something I have interest in now. There’s too much I need to try and fix before I’m capable of letting someone in.

She walks over to me and gives me a hug. I hug her back with one arm, hoping it comes off asfriendly, and not romantic in any way. “Hey, Dean. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you…and proud of you! I told you, you’d do it.” She winks playfully as she reluctantly drops her arms back to her sides.

I return her smile with a less enthusiastic one of my own. “Thanks, I had a lot of help from everyone.”

“No doubt.” She keeps her eyes focused on me until it’s almost uncomfortable.

“Um, if you’re hungry, Sterling has more pizza than he knows what to do with,” I tell her awkwardly. I glance up and see Sterling shaking his head and trying, but mostly failing, to suppress an amused grin at my expense.

“Sure. Could you show me where everything is?” she asks sweetly and places her hand on my forearm, seemingly testing the waters.

I start to answer her when the back door of the house opens and shuts again. I glance up and I’m taken aback by the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. Standing about twenty feet away from me is Briella Brigg.

Her gaze falls from my eyes to Chelsea’s hand on my arm. I quickly pull back, but I’m too late. Briella has retreated into the house and is no doubt heading for the front door to leave.

Sterling and his parents all get up to go after her, but I signal for them to let me instead. I excuse myself from Chelsea and make my way into the house quickly. “Briella?”

I hear her footsteps upstairs. I’m relieved she didn’t try to leave, but I also know I’m about to be in a situation much like cornering a wounded animal. I brace myself for impact as I climb the stairs to what was once Briella’s old bedroom before Sterling and Ivie got married.

I don’t try to hide my footsteps as I stop at her door. It’s open and she’s staring out over the hills of Valley B Ranch now covered in darkness. I can see her body tense as she feels my presence. “Briella, can we talk?”

She takes a moment before facing me. When she turns, there’s tears glistening in her brown eyes. It takes my breath away as if I was sucker punched in the gut. She doesn’t speak; her gaze simply roams my body from head to toe.

“Can we talk?” I try again, still not stepping any closer to her. She’s thinner than the last time I saw her up close, but not any less gorgeous. Somehow, she’s more beautiful than I remember, even with tears in her eyes.

She lets out a choked sob and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can.” The tears fall freely down her cheeks and drip from her chin. I want to go to her and wrap her in my arms so nothing can hurt her ever again and kiss away every tear.Wait, that’s a thought I can’t think. I can’t kiss her at all…ever.

I take a step toward her, and she steps back, as if silently pleading with me to keep my distance. It’s like the sight of me physically hurts her. And maybe it does—maybe my presence is such a cold reminder of what she lost; she can actually feel her heart break.

I feel my arms drop to my sides. My heart sinks with the realization, any friendship I had with her also died the night Drew was killed, making my heart ache like I’m sure hers is right now at the very sight of me.

I step back and start to leave. “I’m so sorry, Briella. If I could take your pain away, I would.” I exit her old bedroom and start for the stairs and hear her footsteps. She stops at her door.

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