Page 13 of Burning for the Truth

“I thought I’d come see what everyone else was doing on this fine Friday night.” He pours on the charm at each encounter, but I ignore it. He may have moved past his initial stages of grief and be trying to put himself out there again, but I haven’t.

“The usual—dinner, girl talk, and a beer,” I say as I bring the bottle to my lips.

“Okay. I get the hint. But hey, when Brittney goes back to work and you’re done with your ‘girl talk,’ come over and play some pool or darts with me; save me from myself.” He chuckles…his eyes are full of mischief.

I laugh. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He winks playfully before heading to the bar and ordering his own beer where Zander is stationed in Britt’s brief absence.

Brittney looks like the cat who swallowed a canary. “What?” I ask as I dip a french fry in ketchup. She’s chewing and shaking her head with an amused smirk at the same time.

“Will you please hurry up and swallow your food and tell me what you’re thinking right now?” I blurt out laughing at her.

She takes a sip of her mineral water. “Babe, he has a thing for you. And he’s got it bad.”

“Michael? No, that’s crazy. He’s just a friend. We have some common…history.”

She smiles, but instead of being filled with humor, it softens. “Yes, I know y’all both lost someone you love.” She covers my hand with hers. “I’m only calling it like I see it.”

“I get it, but you need to see it another way. I’m not ready for a relationship, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be,” I admit matter-of-factly.

“Hey, don’t say that. Drew wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life alone. You know that. He’d want you to be happy. We all do,” she says while sitting back from the table and crossing her arms.

“Yeah, well, Iwashappy. Maybe some people get one chance at it—and he was mine. Now it’s just me and my family and friends, which is fine.” I lie so well these days; I almost believe what I’m saying myself.

“You don’t believe that, do you?” she asks in disbelief with a raised brow.

“Don’t I?” I push my half-eaten food away from me. “Listen, I’m fine. I don’t need romantic love to be happy. I’ve accepted it, so let it go.”

She presses her lips together and narrows her eyes at me. “There’s another great love for you out there, Bree. If you don’t want to believe it right now, then fine, but know I’ll believe in it enough for you and me both.”

I laugh at her as she clears the plates before sliding over and kissing the top of my head. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She winks as she takes our plates into the kitchen.

I glance over at the pool tables and see Michael playing a game with another local guy. He sees me looking and grins, making me quickly turn my head. Maybe Brittney’s right, but it doesn’t matter. I have no room for love until the investigation is closed with the elusive arsonist turned murderer locked firmly behind bars for the rest of his miserable life. Then and only then, will I consider the idea of dating again. My mind whispers,yeah, right.You’re a broken piece of glass—fragile, jagged, and sharp enough to cut without warning. And you were taught from a young age not to touch shattered glass for those exact reasons, which is every reason no one will want me.

I glance back over to the pool tables and Michael’s stare connects with mine again. He waves me over, and I’m about to head that way…I could use a little friendly competition. But my phone rings, pulling me away from thoughts of playing pool.

Sterling’s number is on my display. I roll my eyes because I know what he wants and I’m not giving it to him. I silence my phone and stand as it rings again. I lay money for a tip on the counter and answer, “I’m not coming, Sterling. I told you that and I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Bree, you’re being ridiculous. No, you’re being rude. This is a party to celebrate Dean finally being released to go back on duty. You know he’s been helping investigate as much as he could but he’s back at full capacity now. It’d be nice for you to show your support,” he says, laying on the guilt.

“I can’t see him—it’s too painful. Tell him congratulations for me.” I wait for a moment, and he doesn’t speak. “Hello? Are you there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m just trying to figure out a way to tell my best friend that my little sister is too selfish to celebrate his recovery and release back to duty with the rest of us.”

“Sterling, it’s not like that—”

He interrupts me and frustration clips his tone. “I’ll tell you what it’s not like. It’s not like you were the only one who lost Drew. Yes, he was your boyfriend. I get you feel his loss in a much deeper, different way than anyone else, but Dean lost him too. He was his best friend, besides me. He feels the loss as much as you do—and he’s asked to see you, but you always refuse. It’s been six months, Bree. You’ve refused to see him forsix months. Dean is your friend too. And the way you’ve been avoiding him is not right.”

“Sterling, I’m trying to be okay. If I see him, I’m afraid it’ll break me all over again. I can’t do it.” I sniffle against the tears building in my eyes even though I know he’s right.

“Bree, I hate to be the one to tell you, but like a broken bone that wasn’t set properly and began to heal, the bone eventually has to berebrokenandresetto finish healing as it should. You’re that bone, Bree.” He doesn’t wait for a response; he disconnects the call.

I’m left with my mouth open and tears welling in my eyes. I leave the bar where I was seated and make my way to the door quickly, not bothering to tell anyone bye.

Once I’m in my car and pulling out, I see Michael step outside searching for me. I should’ve said bye to him and Brittney of course, but after my big brother exposed my throat for the kill, so to speak, I know what I need to do. As much as I don’t want to, I’m about to pretend to be happy and come face to face with Dean Warren for the first time since I snuck into his hospital room and heard him whisper my name, and nothing in me is ready for it.

“Hey, you don’t have to try and twist her arm to come tonight. She’s made it clear many times she doesn’t want to see me. That’s okay, as long as I know she’s safe and doing better, I’m fine with it,” I assure Sterling even though, admittedly, it stings.

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