Page 73 of Caged in Flames

I agree, and we walk over to our dorm area. He unlocks the door and closes it behind me. I have too much nervous energy to sit, so I take up a spot on the wall.

"Gunner, I don't know what to do. I care about you. I know how much you care about Nix. It's fucking impossible to be in the same atmosphere as her and not want her. She's light, and good, and everything right in a world that hates her existence."

"What are you saying, Sawyer?”

Fuck. I run my hands through my hair, pulling it at the roots. "I'm saying that if you want to choose, then choose her, Gun. But if there's a chance that you don't have to pick, if there isn't a choice to be made at all, then that's okay too."

"You want me to be with both of you?" There's nothing in his tone that gives me any fucking clue what he thinks about that.

"Yes. I want you both too. I want to be there every time she leans into you for comfort. I want to hear both of your laughs when she does that adorable word vomit and you eat it up. I want to see her forgive Jude and ease his burnt soul. Fuck, I want her and Charlie to stop pretending that there isn't electricity burning away their hate for each other. Just…I want to be a part of it. I want her to be happy, and I want us to be the ones who make her that way."

He stares at me like I'm a stranger. I guess I am right now. I've never let him think I want more from him. Sure, he's gotten my venom when I'm jealous, but not because I don't want him with Phoenix. It's because I want to be there with her.

"Fuck, Sawyer. I have no idea how Nix feels. I worry every day that she'll see how much I care for you as a betrayal. I think it would kill me to lose her."

I groan at him. "I know, Gun. I know. That kills me. When we did that shit to her before, I never thought twice about it. It was what Charlie needed, and I couldn't deny him that. It wasn't fair to her. I know that now. It's so fucked up that the only time I feel regret is when I realize that not only did I lose her, but it could also mean I lose you too."

His eyes are glued to my own. The silence wrapping around us both until it’s suffocating. Until he breaks it.

"Sawyer, I want what you want."

I'm stunned. I hoped, but I didn't expect him to say that. There's no stopping me. I rush over to him and before his back hits the wall, my mouth is on his. My hands are moving under his shirt and he moans into my mouth.

Then I'm spinning. Fuck. He's switched our positions, but fuck if I care. I've been burning up for him for months. He has one hand near my throat, and one at the back of my neck.

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