Page 74 of Caged in Flames

Chapter Thirty Four

Part of me is incredibly happy that Nix agreed to chat things out with me, but that part of me is shut down by the heaviness of the looming conversation.

"Well, Charlie boy, why do you hate me?" She says it casually, but I can see her hands shaking ever so slightly.

I don’t think she is weak for it either. She laid her heart out with her performance. It was magnificent.

Then Molly ruined it. All that rawness ripped right out of her.

Because of us. What we did. Even though we’re responsible, I won’t let that bitch get away with what happened today.

For now, I direct my attention to the beauty in my presence.

I sigh at her. "I don't hate you." The look I get back is full of annoyance and disbelief.

"I mean it, Nix. I don't hate you…anymore." Telling her this makes me realize just how true it is.

She takes a seat in the chair at my desk, and all I can think about is how much I want her in my bed. I want my hand around her throat like a necklace as we get lost in each other. That’s not going to happen tonight though, if ever.

"Back before sophomore year, I overheard a conversation with my mom and Richard. They were talking about you. My mom was fucking pissed that we would be at the same high school.”

I don’t shy away from meeting her eyes and her gaze looks for something else to focus on. “I guess Richard told her about your scholarship for the music program.”

Leaning against the wall, I avoid the desire to get close to her. “I told you he watches your videos, and I know that he's never been a father to you, but I guess maybe it made him ease his own guilt to see you doing something for himself.”

I could tell her about the time I’ve snuck into that office to watch the same videos. That I’ve stared at those pictures and imagined things that make those romance books she loves look like child’s play.

I won’t though. Scaring her isn’t what this conversation is about. No. It’s time for honesty.

I stay standing, never wavering my focus. My eyes couldn’t look away from her if I wanted them too.

“Well, my mom disagreed. She thought that it was disturbing that you had earned for free what he had to pay for me to do.” I spit the words out. Hopefully making it clear that I disagree with my mother’s thoughts.

“Completely ignoring the fact that Richard doesn't buy my way into Blisshaven. Sure, he covers the tuition, but I'm not a waste academically and the football team would be a lot less known if it weren't for me, Sawyer and even Jude.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Oh yes. Where would the world be if you three were not gracing us with your many talents."

Fuck. I have to shift my weight to adjust myself. I love her sassy comebacks.

"Yes, well, we do what we can for our fans.” I wink at her before returning to the topic at hand.

Her mouth falls open. Must have caught her off guard with my charm.

“Anyways, my mom was so mad that she went off and revealed a fuck ton of information. I guess Richard and my mom met while your parents were still together.”

I hate what I’m about to tell her. I don't know how much she really knows about why Richard left them. “My mom and Richard had an affair, but he was regretting their time together, and how it would hurt his family. She kept saying that it was all his fault, and I didn't really understand what she meant by that.”

I shake my head, dreading the next part. Saying this out loud makes me realize how foolish I was.

Of course, I’m fucked up enough that I blamed an innocent. The only person who had ever truly been hurt by this situation was Phoenix. And I did everything in my power to hurt her more.

I’m an idiot.

I decide just spitting it out is best. She’s going to hate me either way.

"Then he said he was sorry that she lost their child. The reason Rich decided to leave you and Cheryl was because my mother was pregnant. I guess he still didn't feel right leaving his family for us, and they hit some sort of rough patch. Apparently, all the stress caused her to have a miscarriage."

I try not to add my own emotions into it. Even though I wish I had someone else to grow up with, I don’t want her pity. I don’t want anything she’s feeling to be misguided by feelings.

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