*****
In big block letters, the whiteboard readAsset Demand For Money. I’d read the chapters, but I was a little confused about the actual terms. I didn’t know if my head wasn’t in it or if I was just stupid when it came to the business world. I definitely wasn’t feeling any sort of passion for anything we’d learned so far.
I didn’t feel passion at all. Since I saw Derek three days ago, I’d been hit with worsening depression. He’d given me a disappointed look when I told him what I’d almost done. It was the same one my father tortured me with. For an entire six months when I was thirteen, it was the only expression I’d seen on him when he looked at me. It only disappeared after I got back from camp, polished and good as new.
Bitterness crawled up my throat. I may not feel passion or joy right now, but that was something that had been growing. Even though me and Derek had a long talk and I felt better when I left his office, it was short-lived. It was as if once I returned to this environment and I was away from him or my parents, all the things they said made less sense.
Maybe my dad was right. This place could infect my mind.
Or he was wrong. Maybe he infected my mind.
How was I supposed to know?
I wanted to be a good son. I wanted to make him proud, have a normal wedding, and give him grandchildren. The last bit was a little iffy, but it was supposed to be the natural progression of life. It was one of the key points they preached about at Camp Dumont. It was written into nature. Why would we try to go against that?
That didn’t feel as important to me now. People chose not to have kids and that was okay. What was the difference?
“You guys killed it in the game against Northwestern yesterday,” someone behind me said.
“We’re gonna do it again on Thursday. Michigan doesn’t stand a chance.”
My gut clenched when I heard Kai’s voice. He sounded so normal while I was over here having a whole crisis. But why wouldn’t he? I was just one guy he now saw as a bigot. He had a hundred other people who accepted him for who he was. In the grand scheme of things, I was nothing.
“I’ll be cheering you on from the stands,” the other guy said, his tone changing in a way that made me turn around.
He was leaning close to Kai and I could’ve sworn his eyes were sparkling. Kai’s face was an unreadable mask and no matter how thoroughly I searched it, I couldn’t figure out what he thought about the guy who was flirting with him. His gaze raised, finding mine, and I immediately turned back around. Thankfully, the professor stood from his desk and put his hands on top of it.
“Please tell me everyone read the chapter. Show of hands if youdidn’t.”
A few tentative arms raised in the air. His eyes narrowed as he looked at each person. I was glad I’d forced myself to read it because that wasn’t a glare I wanted to find myself under.
“Everyone who read it, form a line up here. I’m going to ask you a question to prove that you’re not lying. If you’re right, you get to leave.”
People got to their feet so quickly, it sounded like a stampede. I was near the front of the line, shifting on my feet. Even though I read the chapter, I was worried about getting it wrong.
“Wanna get lunch after this?” Kasey whispered from behind me.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Lunch was just code for hanging out.”
“Um…”
The person in front of me walked out the door, so I moved up to Professor Montaghue.
“Sen, right?” I nodded. “Alright. In the U.S., what does the money supply include?”
I rolled my lips as I tried to recall the chapter. If only he’d allow me to pull out my notes.
“Coins, paper currency…”
“One more.”
“Checkable deposits?”
“See you tomorrow, Sen.”
I all but bolted out the door. I didn’t slow and found myself glancing behind me a couple of times. It was stupid and rude to avoid Kasey, but I wasn’t in the mood for company. There wasn’t a good excuse, so I reverted to my usual method. Cut and run. Just like I did with Kai when things got complicated.