Page 27 of Sexy Bad Escort

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” She takes a longdrink, swipes her hand across her mouth, and says, “I’m Tiesha, by the way. I’m guessingyou’re Rent-A-Danny.”

“Yep. Nice tomeet you, Tiesha.”

“As much as itpisses me off, I admit, this gig you’ve got going is pretty genius.Karen’s been stressing about her mom coming into town for a monthnow. It’s really affected our relationship.”

“And youdecided to make it ahundred times worse by barging in on this fake date and makingKaren confront her worst fears?”

Tieshaglances down at the bottle in her hand. “Well, it’s stupid. Myparents know I’m a lesbian. And they’re cool with it. They loveKaren. I don’t getwhyshe can’t tell hers about us.”

“I’m notsupposed to divulge this because of confidentiality laws and someshit, so don’t tell her I told you, but Karen didn’t eventellmeshe’s gay.And the rules of this game are, make sure there aren’t anysurprises. Surprises muck it up for everybody.”

Tieshadoesn’t say anything, just takes another pull from the bottle.

“Since Idon’t know the history, I’m going to speculate based on what I seehere right now. And I’m going to guess Karen has a deep-seated fearof telling her motherabout her sexual preferences. Or is it the fact that you’reblack?”

Tiesha slumpsonto the nearest barstool. “Hell, it could be both. I’m about asminority as you can get.”

Igrimace. “This won’t be easy. You’re going to have to cut her a lotofslack. If you’rewilling to see this thing through, you need to understand that it’sgoing to be tough going for a while.”

“I’m anopenly gay black woman. I have a pretty good idea of what toughgoing is like. But I do love her, so I’m willing to do whatwe need todo.”

I drainmybeer and place theempty bottle on the bar. “Okay, good. Stay here. You’ll get a textfrom Karen when it’s time to join us.”

Her eyesare wide, hesitant,butshe nods and stays put while I step away. “Thanks,” she calls afterme.

Time tofigure out how tokeepCynthia from believing I’m out on a date with another woman when,in fact, I’m out on a date with another woman.

I roundthe corner; Cynthia,Karen, her mother and aunt are all still loitering in the lobby.And then the door opens and Erin steps through.

What the hellare the odds?

She hasAbby’s little hand tucked into hers, and as soon as the little girlsees her grandmother, she pulls away and rushes over.Cynthia accepts the bear hugand gives her smoochies all over her face, making hergiggle.

With aswift glance in my direction,Cynthia points at the table where she’s left her friend.“Let’s go over there and say hi to Hazel.” She hurries away, butErin hovers near my latest assignment, whose gaze is darting aroundlike a wasp trapped in a room full of closed windows.

“What are youdoing here?” I ask my best friend.

Sheshrugs, probably trying for nonchalance, but she’s a lousy actress. Always has been.“They serve a great rosé here.”

“Bullshit,” I say. It’s official.I’m tapped out. I have no earthly idea how thehell to get out of this predicament. Ronnie’s going to kill me fortelling Erin about our business, which I’m going to have to do now.Mama Frost is going to disown me. And Garrett’s probably going touse my balls for golf practice. Using his largestdriver.

Andlet’s not forget, Karen is paying me a lot of money to ensure hermother and aunt are happy by the time they leave Chicago. And I’massuming she also wantsto preserve her relationship with Tiesha, without actually lettinganyone in her family know about her sexual preferences.

Well, I’m notsure I can promise that part.

“I toldyou, Erin, I don’t swing that way. No matter how many times youflash your boobs, theyjust don’t do it for me. Now, if you had a dick and flashed it,well, I’d be down on my knees in a hot second,” I say,pretend-glaring at my best friend, who is staring back like thecircus has come to town and I’m the main act.

Everyoneelsein the little grouphas the same look on their faces.

“Wait, I’mconfused,” the aunt pipes up, her gaze shifting from me to Karenand back again. “I thought you were Karen’s boyfriend?”

Theglare on Karen’s face says, “Yeah, me too, asshole.”

“I am,”I say. “Her gayboyfriend. Look, here’s the deal. That woman over there”— I pointat the table where Abby is entertaining Mama Frost andHazel—“desperately wants me to find a good girl and get married andhave pretty little babies. Your daughter here has been graciouslyhelping me in that respect by acting as my beard. Or is it meacting like the beard? That phrase is so confusing sometimes.” Ishake my head in seeming bemusement.

“Oh, youpoor dear,” Karen’s aunt says, patting my arm. “You are quiteattractive, so I can seewhy this other woman over here would keep hitting on you.” She nodsat Erin, who is now trying to keep from snickering. “But listen,you need to come clean to your family. Trust me, it’s the wisestchoice. Everybody will be happier if you’re honest with them. WhenI told my sister I was gay, it took her a little while to acceptit, but she got over it, eventually. Right, Georgia?”

“Sure,”Karen’s mother says. “It’s really no big deal.”

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